Virus to be cured- STOP DREAMING START LIVING

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

SHE KNOWS, BUT DOES SHE KNOW WHAT SHE KNOWS

i look into the faces of our children everyday and wonder what will there life be like, for i know that it is becoming more and more dangerous as each day passes, what life will they be able to lead if we dont do something today to help others, and we should all take responsibility, for all those who are in a position of responsibility, we must never give up, what good is a life that only takes and never gives, when will the violence stop if we always take an eye for an eye, when will people learn and governments take heed of their own words, as they ly and cheat the very people they are supposed to serve, when will people be satisfied with what they need, and begin to take as much as they give, i look into the eyes of our children and i feel afraid for their future, will they be safe, will they be able to walk down the street without fear, will they be able to go to school safely, will they be free to do and think as they please as long as they dont fall into the same traps as us of money and selfishness, where people try to get a bigger house and a faster car, when will people see that when you give you recieve more than just material things, which actually last longer than money, when will our children live without fear, when ? this will be the day when i no longer shed a tear for children and their future......

ANOTHER PIC OF HAT YAI

another one
some websites for your info needs.

http://www.marimari.com/content/thailand/popular_places/southern/hat_yai/hat_yai.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hat_Yai

NEAR MY HOME

Beautiful Hat Yai, Songkhla, Thailand.

YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE

if you can lead a horse to the water, but you can not make him drink, then how can help students to learn when they dont even want to be led to the water, and what makes a good teacher in the first place, when i think of the teachers i liked it was becasue they were nice, does this make a good teacher, or does it have to do with a large amount of different ingredients to bake a delicious cake, is it the time and patience you put in, is it a vast amount of knowledge, (i hope not), is it a strong will, is it sheer determination, or do you just try to teach that want to learn, what if your just a nice person, but a really bad teacher, or a really bad person and a good teacher, or can a good person teach good things, helpful things, or can good only teach good and bad only teach bad, could hitler teach about love or only hate, could saddam teach about being merciful or only being merciless, could christians teach the truth or just the bible, can hate teach hate, and love teach love, can the oppostie teach it's opposite, can a good person and a bad person still be a good teacher, i definitely a good teacher has to be above all a good student, this i know, and i remember the teachers i didnt like were the ones who were lazy, and didnt make the class exciting, but was that my job to be more excited about algerbra, (still never use it), does a god student make a good teacher, i also know that to be a ghood student, and a good teacher, one has to be able to listen, it's not always possible to understand but maybe it's not necessary, maybe we should listen more, and we should as one lady wrote listen to that inner child, if you want to have fun, if you have to listen to that inner child, life is not hard unless you make it so, life is not bad unless you make it so, but how do you make a good teacher, or if you know one can tell me that, tell me what makes a bad teacher, maybe i can works the other way, if i minimize the bad qualities than that gives the good qualities a better chance to shine, or at least grow, are people born good teachers, are Presidents, Queens and Kings just born, can make a queen, or a king, are Presidents moulded by teachers, i would hope not, that sounds a little manipulitive to me, can one learn to be a good teacher, or do teachers grow, like a seed into a tree, that never stops growing, that never stops learning, FOR TO BE A GOOD TEACHER YOU HAVE TO BE A GOOD STUDENT, otherwise your useby date will soon run out if not already.........

GOOD DAY WHERE EVER YOU ARE

Another hot day in Hat Yai, i am in charge of teaching over 1000 students a week english, quite the daunting task, but what can i do, this is how it is here, a proverb i have always enjoyed from the I-Ching,

"eat, drink, and be merry, fate comes when it will."

In other words dont worry about what you cant change, and dont worry about what you can change, "just do it", in classes of almost 50, i wonder how many will actually learn anything, will just listening be enough, because i dont have enough time in one week for 1000 students, a month would be far more beneficial, but i do what i can, i dont think about what i would like to be doing tomorrow, i just try to help today, this is all i can do, an aid, i wish i could spend a bit more time with each student but that is just not possible, but if they can have fun at my expense then i dont mind just as long as it is in english, then everybody is happy, because i remember when i was a student, i wasnt the best behaved either, so how can i expect student of 12 to 15 to be any better behaved, i just hope they can learn more than what i did, and theyre like i can not read there language either otherwise those notes they pass around could be a lot more embarrassing then just having to answer a question on the board, but i will persist, and i have no choice but to learn and adapt, otherwise evrybody will suffer because i lack the ability to grow, this is not an option

BEAUTIFUL THAILAND

its amazing how quick your mind can change, and how harmful it can be when you are in a completely new place, where hardly anyone speaks english, and people just stare at you in the street, but i guess you have to just move past it, and really find belief in yourself something i have always had trouble with, so lately i have just been throwing caution to the wind, and let my karma take over, if its meant to be its meant to be, theres no point in fighting it, otherwise suffering will be all that one experinces, such a beautiful society where the honour system rules, which could never work in Australia, too many people lost and looking to steal and destroy something, maybe its just boredom, who can say, but now my task is about to begin, to teach poor children english so that no matter how far they go at school, they will be able to get a job somewhere working with foreigners, and hopefully make an honest living anyway, and not rip them off and me in the meantime, education is all these people have to better there life situation and there own health, and that of their country, now just to fight the corruption, but where to begin

GOOOOOOOD MORNING HAT YAI

i have finally relocated myself to another country nothing like my home for a teaching job, which will take me for the next year in a government school teaching high schoolers, a beautiful country, beautiful people, and sometimes beautiful food, ha ha ha just kidding everything here is beautiful, i'm just nervous about starting at a new school, hopefully i wont make to much of a fool of myself, but if they learn then what can i do, let the good times roll, livin the dream people, livin the dream, who wouldnt want to come to thailand

Leaving home to arrive home

This will be the last post from my home in Melbourne, having finally organized and executed all plans necessary to start my dream job in a new country, where I can begin what I have dreamed of doing for so long, full hope that I can make a difference, to help people who are unable to help themselves for the moment, and elevate them to a higher standard of living, improving there life situation, I HOPE

Manipulation or Administration

There are many people who are dumb founded but what I have done in the past, and lack the ability to understand, and will never understand the things I have done and the things I am about to do, but never would I change them, nor does it bothered me, I am dumb founded more by the fact that less people have done what I have done, and am about to do, they are so caught up in their own individuality they have lost their ability to give what they don’t need, and yet this lack of ability restricts their own lives, and happiness, never have I owned less in my life, and nor have I ever been happier with all parts of my life, some have even question my mental state, and have suggested that I have been manipulated in some way, but there is nothing that I have done that I didn’t already choose to do, far before the opportunity arose, many people think that I am very impulsive, spontaneous but there are very few situations, opportunities, option, or decided upon before the situation or chance arises in a moment between people, thou it does help that there are very few things that I just don’t care about anymore, because they have no baring upon my happiness, because I know that I am the only in control of my happiness, not people nor situations, and I am not afraid to be pushed, asked, or even offer to be taken out of my comfort zone, and money to me is nothing, if it can help someone for a day I will give them everything I possibly can, though I have learnt a lesson, that you still have to be able to take care of yourself before, because if you cant take care of yourself, how ill be able to take care of others, for you to love or make someone happy, you have love yourself, you first must be happy, hate and unhappiness can only arise in you if it already exists, no one can make you angry if you are not already angry, no one can make you afraid if you are not already afraid, no one can make you happy unless you are already happy, I have been blessed to have been born into a better life situation than others I have met, and I am not afraid to abuse that situation to benefit others I love, just as long no one else suffers because of it.

MY OWN JAIL

I’m dying here in this full house,
With this knife I’ve never been so close,
Wallowing in these drugs,
I thought it would kill the time and bugs,
But it just makes me think of you more and more,
Slowing down the time increasing pains door,
I just want to run but it wont matter there’s no distance,
That I would be safe for instance,
Maybe these valiums will aid,
But I haven’t slept in days dreams unmade,
It say’s I should only take three in one day,
But I’m so tired and my head aches body sway’s,
An earthquake through my mind,
Maybe I should take five, rewind,
But I’m so tired I haven’t slept in days,
Maybe I better take ten in this haze,
Okay I’ll be fine but I’m so so so tired,
My heads thumping more than thunder hired,
Maybe I should take the bottle,
Okay that will do now where’s the waters throttle,
This may take a minute,
There we go that was easy bin it,
Maybe I’ll get some food,
And sit down and watch TV what’s my mood,
There’s nothing on flicking away,
Oh how ya doing “I’m okay”
“Where did you come from do I know you?”
Do you mean this view?
I haven’t seen you before,
But I’ve always been near the shore,
How come I couldn’t see you previously?
Because you never took time to the sea,
To look to listen why then can I see you now?
Because you’re stuck in a place some how,
That is neither here or there nor high or low,
No such place that’s a long bow,
Well if that’s what you believe,
Then you do nothing but yourself deceive,
Now this place you had help to find,
You only have to free your mind,
You’re closer than before,

Just let go and you will see even more.

ALL I WANT

All I can see is you,
All I can dream about is you,
All that keeps me going is knowing that I will see you soon,
All my dreams I just want to hold your hand,
All I need is to see your face again,
All that holds me back is time,
All I want is time with you and our children,
All that matters,
All that I think about is just as long as you have,
All you want and need,
I can’t wait till that first touch on your cheek just so,
I know its real so,
I know that there was something worth living for,
I know there will be no barriers,
I’m looking forward to the day,
I want you to say its over,
I want you to say that all your dreams have been fulfilled,
I won’t stop till that day comes,
I won’t stop till those words have been spoken,
I won’t quit, waiting for that day,
I wont ever look back,
I don’t care about anything else but this.

I WISH

I wish I could paint like those paintings I see in the museums,
So I could paint a picture of your face,
I wish I could photograph like those photo’s I see in the magazines,
So I could photograph a portrait of our future,
I wish I could write like those books I read in the libraries,
So I could write a poem of our dreams,
I wish I could sing like those I hear in the opera,
So I could sing a song about your beauty,
But all I can do is say I love you,
I hope you feel the same

OH MY BLOG

Who’s going to take care of my blog if I die tomorrow, who will be left to ramble on and annoy others, will it be deleted, will people still come to laugh and cry, and be angered, will people even know that I’m gone, if I die tomorrow how long will it last, how long will my blog survive, can it make it on its own, who’s going to be there when it needs a hand, how will it cope if someone is mean to it, who will be there to protect and guide, who will be there to review, abuse and renew.

DID YOU LIE TO ME

I am so tired every part of me just wants to lay down and sleep oh how I weep just to sleep a bit, if only I could trade my food for my sleep then I could eat all day at work and never have to sleep, and I would never fall into a heap just lay down the cobwebs and I still wont weep, why do you work so hard what is it that you really need, and the rest can just be a dream for while you sleep you can have everything you want for free, and that house cant travel with you how many rooms do you need you can only be in one at any one time, is one enough or do you need one for every day then one for all the days you cant sleep, oh how I weep for all you who work all day for no reason but to live a dream you can never live, and why do you need so many different clothes and shoes, why do you want such a big car and house, and so much jewelry, why why why, I don’t understand, what is the point of getting drunk each weekend, do you really want to prevent the present moment from presenting itself to you, if only you could see how much the suffering would disappear and you can see that its your only savior, your only god, don’t be fooled, you have already sold your soul to the advertising companies and you don’t even know it, so so sad, you’ve fallen for their “cool” ads, pop fashion, flashy cars, why waste your time wasting your money, free yourself, travel, just let go of what they have told you, its all based upon their own fears they just want to keep you down because their afraid to be alone, they have to belittle you how else can they control your thoughts, how else can they drain your energy, how else can they feel better, by MAKING YOU FEEL LESS THAN WHAT YOU TRULY ARE INSIDE, but alas I have prayed for you all for years and years and I will never lay down my vigil, I pray for your freedom, I hope you will join me soon, I will never stop praying until you all are free

I JUST LOVE ART

I find it very heartbreaking that so many people limit themselves to such restricted areas in this world, specifically the arts, and I don’t understand why so many people limit themselves to one or two genres of music, film, or books, when there is such a diverse range these days of great quality in all areas of the arts. Music is one of the rare experiences one can indulge in that spans all religions races and cultures, and there are so many forms of expression these days yet so many people limit themselves because of their own ignorance and prejudices, how can you ever expand your mind if you listen to the same music, or watch the same movies, or read the same books for your whole life. Wisdom comes with expansion, and with that new experiences must be sought out, we must continue to push ourselves from with in and search for new horizons, we must find new music to listen to, new movies to watch, and new books to read, and we must travel as far as we can not only physically but mentally. We should be thankful for those who push the boundaries of our everyday thinking, because without these individuals we would still be stuck in ice age, fending for ourselves with spears and clubs, so let go of your prejudices and ignorance and read, listen, and watch more than you ever had, don’t limit yourself to one particular genre, how can you expect to grow as an individual if always listen to the same music for your whole life.

JUDGE LEST YE BE JUDGED

May he who is without sin judge me, may he who knows all judge those who don’t, may he who is without love begin to love thy self, nay he who has more than enough give to those who don’t. Go ahead and judge me, or the world around you, may you judge the people you live with, may you judge the ones you love and that love you, may you judge those who are famous and those who are infamous, may you judge the person next to you because their cloths are dirty, or those who don’t understand, but before you do. First think about how much suffering your judgment causes, and that it is all just to make yourself feel better, remember your judgment is your own selfish need to be better than the rest, whether you agree or disagree, like or dislike. But each time you judge think about why? Think for just a moment, let go of your own selfishness and just love one another, think about someone else’s feelings for a second, and ask how can I make this person, this being who only wishes to be happy, what it is they need to be happy? So go and judge me if it makes you feel better, i dont mind because I know where it comes from, and how it arises, but its never necessary so why bother

PAIN, WHAT PAIN

Pain, what is pain, have you ever really thought of it, have you ever caused yourself pain and truly felt and gone with it, experienced it, most people don’t even want to think about it let alone wish for it. Only the mind knows pain, your arms, your legs or any part upon or within your body knows what pain is. All the human body knows is anomalies, disruptions, and interruptions, which can be caused by many different causes heat, cold, pressure and even being severed, but the body only knows these through chemical reactions and electrical pulses, all it communicates is that the body is in danger that is all, that a circuit in the body has been disturbed. If you burn your arm or cut your leg, your arm doesn’t know pain, your leg doesn’t know pain, it only exists in the arm, in the leg as danger, awareness that this may be dangerous to the overall wellbeing of the individual.
The mind is where pain is born and where it resides, and it’s where it has existed for all time. The mind creates it because it thrives upon it because it can use it against you to defeat yourself. It brings up the pain whenever it know you are weak, and reminds you of what can go wrong, and the suffering that you will incur.But there is hope, you can control this pain, if you make the choice, that all it comes down to, a choice to run, which the mind expects because it doesn’t want to discover its true nature, and the state which you can reach. So stop running and just be still, experience the pain learn from it, and experience how it works on your own mind, how it affects you. Physical pain is the easiest to do this with because the causes are obvious and may times can be seen, and you know exactly when it happened, and how. Though the pain that exists because of emotions, expectations, worry, living outside the moment, depression, anxiety, the causes of these, and many more are not always as well known, and can be very intricate and be the result of years of the minds control, and others. This takes a lot more practice and investigation, and take years to resolve, but never forget happiness exists everywhere in this world, and only because people choose it that is all, the difference is choice, what will yours be?

EMOTIONS, NOTHING MORE THAN A BLINDING LIGHT, A THICK FOG

“Emotion: The body’s reaction to your mind”
Eckhart Tolle

I know this may upset people, and for that I am sorry, but the truth is what it is, whether you agree with it or not, it is not there to be judged.
Emotions can cause so much suffering, don’t be a fool and allow them to control you, you have to control them, only the foolish are guided by emotions, and one should act from a state of love, the ego-less love, the divine love, it is not an emotion but a way of being, a state that permeates all life and never causes harm, it is beyond any word but unfortunately that’s all we have, it can only be experienced.
It truly breaks my heart to see so many people suffering because of that voice inside their own selves and see how much pain it causes them and those around them, if only we could communicate so honestly with each other, with out having to worry how someone is going to feel, if only people could see themselves and each other as we truly are and not how every one wishes they were, not every one is smart, nor strong, though we like to think that we are, so many people these days have big homes and large bank accounts, and yet they are so poor and lonely inside. If we could all communicate from that universal point in which all beings understand, even animals experience primitive, simple emotions living in the moment, and have only a basic understanding of there surroundings and there place in the world, and yet individuals in the past who have been in touch with the eternal, are able to tame the most frightened and aggressive animals, which is far beyond the current capabilities of so many humans because they think that they are above these animals for some reason, there is no other species upon this world that has caused so much suffering to its own kind and to others, what other animal kills out of greed, or pride, sometimes I find it so disgusting too see how so many humans act toward each other, and other beings. All beings wish for happiness and we are all components of the earth, the human body is not beautiful or ugly, it just is, a vehicle for life, do you think your arm feels love or anger, does your leg feel jealousy or fear, do your pets limbs feel hunger or hope, our body is made from the same matter as the trees and ants, and even your own computer, your fingers don’t feel depressed or shame, there just skin and bone, mostly water, why are you so attached to a bit of skin and water, do the leaves feel hate, does your hair feel afraid, all emotions are a product of a judging ego that’s all, you are not anger you are not happiness, you are caught in a cage you cant control, or even see. There are many paths to the eternal, just as long as you follow them honestly, and are honest with yourself.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

HOW DO THEY KNOW

ARIES- you are close to something important. The imminent Full Moon in your opposite sign is concentrating your mind and sharpening, too, the focus of events in the world around you. One big issue is taking up your time. The more you think about it, the more food for thought you find within it. You are growing concerned and anxious about the future of a particular arrangement- yet the problem you face is no greater than many you have successfully conquered in the past. Ahead lies triumph, not a disaster.

(how can they know whats going on in my life without even talking to me, amazed)

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

SPACE AND TIME, NO MATTER I KNOW YOUR MINE

Slipping through the clouds,
What was it you said that day?
You know you can’t hear anything,
Down hear anyway,
What’s the time?
I thought you said it was early,
But it was already dark
Or did you mean that yesterday,
You wanted to meet late tomorrow,
While the sun is waking in the park,
And the clouds are moving into next week,
I’m feeling so weak,
You said that you didn’t care,
Now I know your lying,
Or was I lying,
Or was I lying when you said what I said,
That I wouldn’t dare,
Don’t believe a liar,
When a liar knows what a liar knows,
That a liar doesn’t know,
Can I borrow some wisdom?
I don’t even know what wisdom is,
I know I can’t hold it in my hand,
I could really do with some wisdom now,
But all I’ve got is me and myself,
And where both as confused as each other,
But don’t bother its not the first time for us,
And every thing has turned out all right,
Your still here I hope,
But I know I saw you crying,
And it wasn’t because you were happy to see me,
But do you believe when liars mix with liars,
And they’re both scared and afraid,
It doesn’t matter any more what was said,
I wish I could read the stars in your eyes,
The galaxies in your dreams,
Do any of them include us?
Cause there ain’t no me without you,
Sleeping again at work,
Or was I dreaming that I was at work working,
Working hard but that doesn’t seem right,
I don’t work at night,
Who am I kidding?
At night I don’t even work
This is not my sight,
When did your dreams become mine?
When did our fears join?
Was it when I said I do?
Or was it when I first met you,
Did the water wash away your hope to?
Or was it when the water left,
And left behind our love,
Did it happen when you were at school,
Or was it before,
I know when I saw your face you were crying,
And said that you loved me,
I tried to touch your face,
But I couldn’t move,
What’s that burning?
Hey wait a minute what’s that light,
I tried to scream that I promised to promise,
That I would take care of you again,
Did you hear were you even listening?
Communication was never my best trait,
Were you just waiting till I came by,
The clouds look the same as before in a dream I had,
Floating through your soul,
The smoke led me back to were I had to go,
What’s the date I think I missed your birthday,
What do you…..,
That’s not it what do you mean,
That’s when your dream started,
You didn’t tell me about that dream,
I know was only three,
I didn’t know you then,
There wasn’t any grass or trees here,
I planted them that day,
But I didn’t tell anyone,
I just waited here because I knew this is the only place,
I would ever be fixed,
I didn’t know it needed mending,
I know but my mended heart was fixed,
When your heart walked into my garden,
And was mended by the grass and trees,
I planted so long ago,
My heart didn’t need mending,
Ha ha you foolish man,
Of course you didn’t know,
A drop of rain doesn’t know it’s falling,
It just keeps falling until it’s caught,
Now I’ve caught you again and again,
I will catch you when you are falling,
So be free this is your destiny,
To fall and is all you know,
And it’s mine to know when you are falling,

So I can catch you again to water my garden.

Monday, April 10, 2006

WORDS OF WISDOM, TRUST ME THERE NOT MINE

"There is nothing in this world that is not subject to change or transformation. It is foolish to run from the world as to run after the world, both extremes having their root in illusion that the world is seperate from ourselves."

Lama Anagarika Govinda

"If good does not accumulate, it is not enough to make a name for a man. If evil does not accumulate, it is not strong enough to destoy a man. Therefore the inferior man thinks to himself, "Goodness in small things has no value, " and so neglects it. He thinks, "Small sins do no harm," and does not give them up. Thus his sins accumulate until they can no longer be covered up, and his guilt becomes so great that it can no longer be wiped out. In the Book of Changes it is said: "His neck is fastened in the wooden cangue, so that his ears disappear. Misfortune."

The I Ching

Saturday, April 08, 2006

ONE HELL OF A SAMVEGA

I came to you at my weakest blinded by my own suffering,
Confused and lost in my own fear never had I been falling,
So far from the light my samvega flash,
Couldn’t have come any sooner or left a deeper gash,
Left me desperate and weak there were only two choices,
Of which there was no return but I had to stop the voices,
Otherwise I wouldn’t be here today with you all,
So I had to pick myself up out of this state and make that call,
Get in my car and drive, drive and drive through the panic I had to weave.
I’d had enough of the sleepless, dinnerless days I had to leave,
No direction again until I landed upon your garden,
So serene it was small and not that beautiful my mind had been hardened,
But it was beautiful to be in any way without any sense of what to say
It didn’t matter you already knew what had to be done and since that day,
I have never strayed from the path though some parts took a little longer,
Than was necessary but now I know what needs to be done I’m so much stronger,
My sorrow now turns to you, who have a different view,
And all those who are still confused and lost,
But I know soon you to will know the path there is no cost,
If you ask I will hold your hand,
Or even the other side of the world I will stand,
What ever you ask what ever you need,
Will be done if you ask to sow the seed,
That will be the only step you have to take alone,
The rest can be as much a party as you wish or alone on the phone

http://herenow.org/wwwArticles/samvega.html

JUST WAIT AND SEE

I know you’ve got your doubts baby, but I promise you don’t have to worry,
It’s been some time, and there’s a little more to go and for that I’m sorry,
But I’m tired of talking and people telling me what I can’t do,
I’m just going to go by and do what I have to,

As soon as I made up my mind, there was never any doubt soon you will see
Soon you will all see that it was all meant to be,

You’ve opened a door that’s shaken me to my core,
My heart is aching like never before,
Nothing else matters until I’m back in our home place,
Till there’s no space between us and all I can see is your face,

As soon as I made up my mind, there was never any doubt soon you will see
Soon you will all see that it was all meant to be,

Never wanna see you cry or will I again leave your side,
I can’t explain what I feel inside but I can no longer hide,
I finally know what I want to do and it feels so right,
Everything will be all right no matter how big the storm during the night,

As soon as I made up my mind, there was never any doubt soon you will see
Soon you will all see that it was all meant to be,

Thursday, April 06, 2006

MY MIND ALONE

Why do so many partners want there partner to know what they are thinking, I couldn’t think of anything worse, I never want to know what my partner is thinking, or is it just me, but half the fun we have together is guessing and being constantly wrong and amused by how far off we are at what the other had upon there mind, I couldn’t think of anything more boring, and I don’t mean that to offend any at all, but can someone explain this notion to me, is it cultural, does it arise from fear, or the need to know that someone thinks the same as yourself, is it comforting, or is more to do with reliability, the ability to predict, I’m trying here, …………………………………………please

TRUTH BE KNOWN

Truth doesn’t exist in a book or in any word written or spoken or otherwise, the word itself is empty, a number of symbols, which represent a mental construct, it can not be expressed or passed on by communication or physical touch it must be experienced by the individual alone, people can only direct you, guide, lead, a person so that they can discover it for themselves, you can not make somebody understand or even learn what they don’t want to, or even understand, even the wisest soul upon this planet can not make another soul know the truth, but he or she would be extremely good at showing the way. Which is different to knowing things about truth, which is not the same as the actual truth itself. The truth of the universe I speak of cannot be spoken of, but all I can do is chip away at a stone to reveal the truth that exists within us all, but only can the individual, reveal the truth for them self. For one thing you wont experience it in this blog or any other, or anywhere on the internet, all you will find are “road signs” that will lead you down a path that could lead you any where, but step out into the “world”, and you can see it every where you look, (I don’t recommend you do it in a city if that’s where you live), though many people have not trained their mind enough to experience it. Only when the mind is really quiet, and I mean really really quiet, to the point where all those thoughts we have each moment of our waking and possibly sleeping life, that never seem to cease, begin to cease, and in the beginning it will be hard to notice but the more and more you try, the longer and longer the gap between each thought will get, and in between those thoughts you will be able to experience life for what it is, without ego, without judgment, without like or dislike, and that’s where you will also experience an ecstasy of happiness far beyond any drug you can find, and you will find your being come into line at the same level of vibration as energy itself. The path is not easy cannot be found with knowledge alone, but an equal amount of practice as well, they are both “different ends of the same stick” as the great and late Ajahn Chah would say. Knowledge and practice are both sides of the same coin, useless on their own, but boundless when joined together.

"Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself",
ZEN saying

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

MY HEART, MY PROMISE

The six senses of my being wish to communicate to you,
........................But what difference does it make if I don’t do what I promised,

If only you could hear what my heart wants you to hear,
.........................But it doesn’t use a language that anyone understands.

If only you could feel what my heart wants you to feel,
..........................But you would never come back down to earth.

If only you could see what my heart wants you to see,
..........................But the light would blind you forever.

If only you could taste what my heart wants you to taste,
..........................But everything else would never taste the same.

If only you could touch what my heart wants you to touch,
..........................But your skin would always feel cold.

If only you could smell what my heart want you to smell,
...........................But then roses would never smell as sweet.

WHATS THE DEAL

Why is it that doctors and other medical professionals who save lives and religious members of our community who save our souls get paid pittance compared to actors, sportsmen/women and singers who do nothing but entertain and take us away from the present moment?

Why do people spend so much money making movies, building cars that travel far faster than they have to, and missiles and planes while they cant even feed there own people, or supply simple medicine to those who are suffering.

The cost it takes to produce a movie these days could feed a small country for a whole year, not to mention the amount of food in which we waste each day, because of “economic reasons”.
When will it be enough, how much money do banks and other global organizations have to make each year before they will take care of their own employees who actually run the company, I don’t know of other countries but I know in Australia the banks have become disgusting in the way they treat their employees and customers, as they try to squeeze out as much money as they can from people who are struggling as it is, yet they still keep sacking people and increasing fees, as there services decrease, and peoples frustration increases.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

WHAT ARE YOU REALLY LOOKING FOR

this is my new theory, (and i know there is no arguement), hair upon a mans head is as important as medium to large size breasts are for a women (and yet both are empty and meaningless, though one does serve a purpose regardless of there size) to their own self esteem, now for both sides of this issues those who wish to have what they dont, and a society that constantly perpetuates a fact of life that doesnt exist, hello were human beings where not supposed to look the same, dont you listen to Groove Armada ha ha ha.

1.--if a person doesnt like you due to the lack of your hair/breasts why would you want anything to do with them. speaking from experince i actually shaved my head for over 2 years completely to the skin, and found no difference between my interaction with people or my own self esteem, for the other ive never had implants so i can not speak of such an experince, quite frankily men i think your weak and know its all in your head, as i may suggest it is also may be for women, though of course i cant speak of such an experince.

2.-- the other side which i have many issues with is society, and this constant perception built by society and advertising agencies, that we should look a certain way and if dont we are somehow inadequate, or lacking in some way, or even worse not "cool", and i know all societies/ cultures have there idea of beauty, but true beauty has nothing to do with a few strands of hair or a couple of handfuls of silcone, doesnt any one else find such gains empty and nothing but increased suffering for no reason what so ever, now doesnt that sound completely insane, words are empty, but i know they can hurt for a long long time, but only if you allow them to, dont let others or society, or even fucking worse advertising companies tell you what is or isnt beautiful, look into your heart and you will see that all things are created beautiful the day they are born, so you have nothing to worry about, youre just fine as you are so relax and enjoy life, its to short to be worring about how much or little you have of something, just live.

I know this may sound hypocritical

i know with all this ranting and raving i carry on with each day or so, could also be seen as another whinging westerner, but i am hoping that these empty words may push people to question their environment, to look into their hearts, and to challenege society, and investigate what people tell them, too many people take for granted what they hear and see as truth without investigating for themselves, why?, please explain, i take nothing for granted and believe there are more opinions out there than facts, i only want the facts people, only love matters you can keep the rest, thank you i'll stop whinging now

OPEN YOUR EYES

CANT YOU ALL SEE THAT WERE KILLING OURSELVES, FOR ALL OF EXISTANCE WE'VE DONE NOTHING BUT CHEAT, KILL, MAIME, STEAL, LIE, ABUSE, AND DRUG EACH OTHER BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO LOVE OURSELVES, AND BECAUSE OF OUR OWN JEALOUSY, RAGE, AND SELFISHNESS WE ARE UNABLE TO FORGIVE,..............................................................PLEASE JUST LET IT GO, WHAT EVER HAS HAPPENED IN YOUR LIFE LET IT GO AND SET YOURSELF FREE, DO WHAT EVER YOU HAVE TO, WETHER IT BE CRY OR SPEND SOMETIME ALONE IN A MONESTRY, TAKE A DEEP BREATHE IN......................................................................................, HOLD IT FOR A MOMENT.....................................................AND JUST LET IT OUT AND RELAX YOUR WHOLE BODY................................YOUR HEART IS TIRED OF THE PAIN IT WANTS TO BE FREE, PLEASE LET IT BE FREE..........................................PLEASE, THIS IS MY ONE WISH

REALIZE YOUR TRUE SELF I DONT CARE WHAT YOU CALL IT LOVE ENERGY GOD< JUST HURRY UP>

WARNING CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AND ADULT THEMES

So much of the shit we go through each fucking day is such a fucking waste of time, yet people keep going through the pain because they are too afraid to deal with the present moment and to stand up for themselves and take fucking control of their own life and mental state, rather disappointing, what difference will it make how big your car or house is when you die, how many hours you work in a week, what benefit to the world is a fast car, a large TV, a loud stereo, why does a large TV or even owning a TV bring you happiness, why does sitting in a cafe for hours on end bring you happiness, why are people so afraid of spending time alone with there own mind, why do so many people spend so much fucking time in a bar talking shit and killing brain cells, if you die tomorrow and have spent twenty years paying for your house and working the same job what have you gotten out of life, and what difference have you made on the world, please people wake up and smell the coffee as they say, its not even going to bring you lasting happiness, why is it that the poorest countries are far happier than any of the “first worlds”, and I cant wait till I get old, why would a fifty year old want to look like a twenty year old, something very very wrong with society, especially westerns seeing as most eastern women accentuate there age, I’m looking forward to the day when I can look in the mirror and see wrinkles upon my face, hopefully there is a small amount of wisdom and experience that comes along with the years that it takes for the skin upon my face to loose its “elasticity”, we need to forget about tomorrow as we have yesterday and wake from our sleeping lives as we realize we are nothing more than machines that fuel a system of negativity, that sucks away our energy, and the love that each being is able to achieve, it feeds upon, and feeds us a false reality, where they tell us what we want, and what will make us happy, fucken hell people can you for once fucken take a look at your life and ask yourself what you really really want, will that TV make you happy, will deodorant really get you a partner, and women I guarantee your hair colour or lipstick has nothing to do with finding a partner, the system has turned us into consumers of crap we don’t need, how much shit in your home do you even need, go on take a fucken look around and see how much time you have spent working to pay for things you don’t even use, don’t even need, and shit that wont make you any more happier than playing in the dirt and at least that is free, the best things in life are free, FOR FUCK SAKE PEOPLE HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN, what are you doing with your life that you need to work for so long, or so hard, please for once in your life take a moment and listen to your heart and ask yourself what it is you want, and I want to know what are you waiting for, why do so many people have to come so close to death to really start living, maybe if I put everybody in a life and death situation, where they have lost all control, they might wake up, now that would be a fucken TV show that I might actually watch, people finally realizing what life is about and not what NIKE, COCO COLA, LEVIS, Lancôme, or some pop star tells us, what life is about, the closer you get to death the more you will know life

JUST A SHORT ONE

ARE ALL PEOPLE WHO SMOKE CIGARETTES STUPID OR WEAK?

Saturday, April 01, 2006

MOVING ON, WHY CANT YOU

Heading down the highway
Trying to escape from a place
Could never call home again and
I got graceland blaring out of my stereo
For the first time I feel free
Taking in that deep breathe that releases my soul
Letting go of all of my sorrow
The music makes me feel like running,
Makes me feel like dancing and singing
But I’m in no hurry to nowhere and
I never, I never ever wanna loose your heart
But I wanna know what it’s going to be like
Going down that road that has no end
What’s it like traveling with no baggage
With nothing holding you back but your dreams
As the wind begins to pick up blowing through me
Clearing away all the cobwebs and stale air of my past
The only way forward for me now is to forgive
And just move, just keep moving
Nothing past is going to control me anymore,
I don’t understand why you cant do the same,
I can see the pain in your voice and feel the tension in your face,
But you seem so determined to hold on,
You just keep holding on, cant you see there’s no point,
Foraging on the past will make you ill,
You are in charge of your own happiness no matter what you think

RISE UP PEOPLE, RISE UP

"All mankind is divided into three classes; those that are immovable, those that are moveable, and those that move." Arab proverb.

I’m begging all ya’ll to rise, rise up and be counted,
Otherwise you will be washed away and them never ousted,
All they do is talk,
Make you work and walk,
But ya’ll still believe, ya’ll still believe,
Bringing me to tears, bringing me to tears.

Spend our money is all I see them do,
Don’t even know the pain they put you thru,
Yet most don’t even understand,

They've cut off your feet and hands,
But ya’ll still believe, ya’ll still believe,
Bringing me to tears, bringing me to tears.

Why can’t you see that there cheating you all?
They don’t care how much food you have they just stall,
As long as they’re deep deep pockets are full,
They want you to keep up the pull,
But ya’ll still believe, ya’ll still believe,
Bringing me to tears, bringing me to tears.

Blinded for so long you can’t remember,
So long kept in a slumber,
Forgotten what you are supposed to be doing?
Black is white, we’ve stopped growing,
But ya’ll still believe, ya’ll still believe,
Bringing me to tears, bringing me to tears.

Fight the power and rise up,
Your souls have withered into there coffee cups,
They should be running for the hills,
Explaining the amount of kills,
But ya’ll still believe, ya’ll still believe,
Bringing me to tears, bringing me to tears.

They’ve forgotten their roles,
Throwing rules round quick with there flagpoles,
They think they own you,
And will till you see the view,
But ya’ll still believe, ya’ll still believe,
Bringing me to tears, bringing me to tears.

Friday, March 31, 2006

DAMN ITS A CRYING SHAME

Johnny Diesel Lyrics - Cry In Shame Lyrics

Pickin' up the pieces

Up off the floor

How was I to know

There was gonna be a war

Words of sorrow

Words of spite

Ringin' in my head

Right through the night

Don't you know it's a cryin' shame

When you've got yourself to blame

Don't you know it's a cryin' shame

Ohhhhhhhh

Woke up this mornin'

It's a rainin' again

Startin' to wonder

If it's somethin' I said

Words of sorrow

Words of spite

Ringin' in my head

Right through the night

Don't you know it's a cryin' shame

When you've got yourself to blame

Don't you know it's a cryin' shame

You've got yourself to blame

Cry cry cry cryin' shame

Cry cry cry

Cry cry cry cryin' shame

Cry cry cryin' shame

Up all night

With a conscience fight

Just can't sleep

So I put on the light

The sheets are wet

With anxiety sweat

Mornin's gonna come

But it ain't here yet

Chorus

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

GOD

God, it’s a very interesting subject to talk about, certainly one I don’t suggest at a party, but its seems to drive many people to do such heinous and even in the very next moment, beautiful acts in this world. Does it really matter if god exists or not, we certainly know that we have our “own free will”, and if you believe in god do also believe in destiny, or fate, how could an all loving either to yourself or others around you. If ever are able to reach a point where you are able to experience god, you will be able to realize that there is no such thing as duality in life, there is no light/dark, no life/death, animal/vegetable, good/bad, rich/poor, strong/weak, and that all life and matter is just particles relating and interacting with each other, governed by a divine love, as Jesus said love thy enemy, which means have no enemy and you will love all equally, and you will reach a state where nothing truly matters, because if you truly lobeing allow such harm come to his/her children, and why would he/she have to be feared as the bible so adamantly states. A god should not be feared, but what should be feared are the repercussions of your own actions. Its also clear that people who have experienced god, reach a point where they realize that what ever they do is really of no importance, because he/ she already knows what we are going to do next. I’d like to think of god as more of a conscience energy force that not only binds all life and all matter of existence together, but also rules what we do tomorrow, which in essence could be called karma, and represented by the ying-yang, which can be influenced by what you do now. This can be labeled as good/bad depending upon the suffering you bring down upon this world ve somebody, without the ego, that love will begin to extend to all beings, and that no matter what they do, or how badly they think they can harm you, you will never ever become upset, angry or harmed, and regardless of what they do you will always forgive them and love them the same as any being in this world, if someone you loved in the past has hurt you, then you did not truly love them without the ego, there was a part of you that was attached to that person, or that moment, or the feeling they gave you, and when they hurt you, you felt betrayed, in some way and you became selfish only thinking about yourself. Love is used today to easily, thrown around like a ball in the back yard, very few people ever experience true love, and those who have ever experience love at first site, are not experiencing it at all for the first time, but that there was a connection from a previous life, and your attachment has bought you together again.

May there be peace in this world and throughout the entire universe

May all beings be happy, healthy and free from suffering

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

KARMA

"Karma is a sum of all that an individual has done, is currently doing and will do"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karma

Many people seem to have an incorrect understanding of karma, which actually only means "action", there is no such thing as good/bad karma, this is only an attribute of the mind which has to label everything it experiences, which allows it to deal with its environment, and will only label things as such depending upon the immediate suffering it experiences. Karma is only the action of balance throughout the universe and for all time. The action of karma exists because all things in the world need to exist in a state of equilibrium, otherwise, without balance all life would end up extinct. It goes beyond life and death, because these are only states of the mind, karma keeps the balance of life, and is the result of cause and effect, which is the law that all things/action can only exist because of something that existed before. Everyone is in control of their own karma, and cannot affect the karma of others, regardless of what you do in life you will be made responsible sooner or later, there is no escape, and the universe relies upon this equilibrium for its survival.

AJAHN CHAH

From the Great Ajahn Chah
"When one does not understand death, life can be very confusing."

"The Dhamma has to be found by looking into your own heart and seeing that which is true and that which is not, that which is balanced and that which is not balanced."

"Only one book is worth reading: the heart."

"Don’t think that only sitting with the eyes closed is practice. If you do think this way, then quickly change your thinking. Steady practice is keeping mindful in every posture, whether sitting, walking, standing or lying down. When coming out of sitting, don’t think that you’re coming out of meditation, but that you are only changing postures. If you reflect in this way, you will have peace. Wherever you are, you will have this attitude of practice with you constantly. You will have a steady awareness within yourself."

"When sitting in meditation, say, “That’s not my business!” with every thought that comes by."

"The heart of the path is quite easy. There’s no need to explain anything at length. Let go of love and hate and let things be. That’s all that I do in my own practice."

"We practice to learn how to let go, not how to increase our holding on to things. Enlightenment appears when you stop wanting anything."

"If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace. If you let go completely, you will have complete peace."

"You are your own teacher. Looking for teachers can’t solve your own doubts. Investigate yourself to find the truth - inside, not outside. Knowing yourself is most important."

"Try to be mindful and let things take their natural course. Then your mind will become still in any surroundings, like a clear forest pool. All kinds of wonderful, rare animals will come to drink at the pool, and you will clearly see the nature of all things. You will see many strange and wonderful things come and go, but you will be still. This is the happiness of the Buddha."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ajahn_Chah

MEDITATION

Meditation is the only practice with which our species will be able to make the next step in our evolution. Our kind has become a disease upon this planet, as we are no longer kept at bay by environmental or predatory factors. Regardless of what religion or faith you follow, what country you live in, how rich or poor you are, no matter how smart you are or not, regardless of what you think is right or wrong, all I suggest to do is just try it, meditation is the only method by which we will be able to attain a greater knowledge of this world, and more importantly our own minds which control us. Most of the philosophies we follow today are thousands of years old, and yet we are still stuck in the same mentality far older, and our behavior is becoming more and more aggressive, never have more people died by war and violence than at any other time in the era of our genus. It’s also a shame that drugs have become such a problem in our society, what is it about us that we have come to rely upon them so much, what is lacking in our mentality today. Do we lack the ability to talk to people, is it the fact that we have to much time to think as so much is done for us, and everyone is so obsessed with buying the newest, quickest gadget, or are we finding the stresses of life too hard, what is it that drives people to addiction, does it heal the pain for a few hours, does it numb the body, what ever the reason, the only way you can deal with the situation is to deal with it by meditating, and by avoiding it, you only give it more energy and power to control you, does it arise from a fear of your final demise, is the realization of your own death what drives you to escape, what ever you use, drugs, power, anger, sport, to suppress the pain, will never satisfy. Meditation is the only key to your own mind, and it may not fix all of your problems, but for the first time you will be able to see clearly what the root cause of your fear is, and then from there you will be able to deal with the cause, and finally be able to discover a solution. When I first heard of the practice I was very skeptical, coming from a scientific background studying biology and psychology at university for years, I had never heard of any evidence to backup the evidence I had been given. Until one day when I realized the practice was so easy to begin and understand, a very old practice, available to anyone (many free seminars), and had been used by many great people through out history, Buddha, Jesus, Confucius, Gandhi, Dalai lama, (named in biographical order) how could so many great people be wrong, and since moment i first tried it, I have never looked back, it will clear your mind, and help you to not only understand your own mind but others around you, you will also become more relaxed and be able to deal with many difficult situations far easier, you will not regret the practice, though i admit it can become diffucult without a teacher, dont hold back, reach for the skies and you will never walk alone again

Sunday, March 26, 2006

FALLING

I’m falling faster than usual,

am I dreaming again have I died,
If I wake up will I see you lying by my side,
My heart just wont stop bleeding,

I should never have left you alone,
The pictures won’t heal the tears,

will you answer the phone,
No matter how much I breathe,

No matter how much I drink,
I want to just keep running,

and running and not think,
The distance between you and I,

has never been further I swear it’s a sin,
Hope is all I have and it’s running thin,
The next few months are going,

to feel like a million winters,
And it’s tearing my mind,

into a billion splinters,
I’m stuck in a place,

without you and it’s my own fault,
I was foolish in the past,

to keep the truth locked in a vault,
I know these tears wont change anything,

but I’ve got to let them out,
Now I’m paying the price, my life is in doubt,
What will take away this pain that know one can see,
Could you understand,

what I would give you to be with me,
Everyone I see seems to look just like you,

smell just like you, and walk just like you,
I just can’t escape your face even,

when I close my eyes its all in my view,
Down on my knees my hearts,

pounding so loud can you hear,
Nothing else matters when you’re near,
My whole body fills with pain,
I’m breaking down again,
I can’t even get up to walk,

and I haven’t eaten for days,
Each breath I take leaves me dazed,
To see your face again is all that will do,
Just to see you,

and tell you how much I love you.

Friday, March 24, 2006

CHANGE

Change, change, change, we seem so set on preventing it, though inevitable, and very, very necessary, our species depends upon it, and it has been crucial for our survival, and is essential for the next step we must take in the evolution of our own consciousness, everything in this world is in a constant state of flux, and everything is impermanent, and yet we attempt to do everything in our power to prevent it, and our attachment to our surroundings, our bodies, our senses, our own mind, other people, is the cause of so much suffering, no matter where you are now it wont last, no matter how bad your day has been it wont last, no matter how happy you are at work it wont last, no matter how healthy you are it wont last, no matter how many friends you have it wont last, no matter how much you own it wont last, no matter how clean or new something is it wont last, and for anyone to wish for anything to not change is only going to suffer in the future, change is ever-present and all-encompassing, its not so much change, but that there is nothing that is without change, for nothing is static or stationary, eveything in existance does so at its own vibrational level, as atoms and its components are randomly swerving constantly, what is born will die, all forms are impermant and unsatisfactory, dont forget, or ever become deluded, everything from moment to moment is changing and in its form it is also empty, and no matter how much you wish or hope for something to not change, it WILL NOT AND NEVER WILL IT LAST FOREVER. Our own bodies are a good example, we dont even have that much control over them, composed of nothing more than chemicals and atoms, (mainly water), that have arisen from the earth that is millions of years old, and constantly in a state of flux, dying each day and being born again each day, do not become attacthed to it, let it go and realise your existance does not depend upon its survival

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

MY ETERNAL SEARCH

Excerpt From the movie "the matrix"
Morpheus : What _is_ real? How do you _define_ real? If you're
talking about what you can feel, what you can smell, what
you can taste and see, then real is simply electrical
signals interpreted by your brain.

Don’t follow what you don’t understand and question it until you do, your dreams only survive only for as long as your hope does, as a dream can go down two paths dust or diamond, concentration and energy are all that stand between what ever you want and mediocrity or a happiness that is far beyond you know, I want people to rebel against what they don’t understand until they do, especially controlling ones, the point of government was never to rule or conquer, and there are many who should be ashamed of themselves, not only for how they treat other countries but there own people, the purpose of government has always and should always be to serve the people that have elected them, no law should be passed without counsel, the people are the who have the power, yet they don’t realize it, police and government only have power for as long as the people allow it.

Not only have I been searching for the truth but for others also on the path of truth, for some reason I still need too feel that there are others searching, also importantly for advice and discussion, and to learn of their experiences, for our species to evolve communication, with out ego is a must, though so many around me don’t understand and seem content to have found there place in the great big system, happy to be just another cog in the machine and they don’t question why, though I admit it is very subjective but the why has always been a struggle. I dream of a world where my children only have to read about war in their history books at school and not on the front page of the newspaper or see it on the TV each day, is this foolish of me, or is it mans destiny to destroy himself, is it inevitable, of course I know its not I will never believe such a notion, this is what I must fight and rebel against each day, with the small battles which go on inside my own mind, to conquer my own mind is far more difficult to do than any country or piece of land I could never hope to control, I hope that all people are trying to unplug and we can then link up to each other thought the source of our existence and of all life and to evolve to a place where we no longer fear anything and realize what a waste of energy it has been killing each other for no reason other than our own precious little ego, sometimes I’m embarrassed to be part of this race with the amount of destruction we have caused to this planet and all the beings that exist with in it, dead or alive, small or large, seen and unseen there is an underlying essence that binds all life together, and you only ever have to get a glimpse of it, and you will realize just as I have how foolish we can be and will continue to be until we are able to free ourselves of this controlling mind/ego and for the first time make a real choice with what will truly be with our own free will, and is form from a place of divine love and energy

LIFE IS SUFFERING

How could you believe that ignorance is bliss, this is for those who are still afraid or don’t understand I have been on the path of truth my whole life (with many wrong turns and dead ends) and would not change a thing there has been suffering on all sides, i have even been the cause of other peoples suffering, which causes me more pain than anything else, which is why I have chosen the path I now walk. To help free those who wish to be free and to challenge the very ground they walk upon if only all, could see the truth that is far beyond anything man made and ease the suffering of those I can. I know there are some countries whose governments wish to do the opposite and continue to blind and enslave there own people my heart truly goes out to them, though i know it will not last long information surrounds us today more than ever and it will set the people free soon and those in power will loose everything but that which they never had in the first place I think I’m more afraid that people don’t care anymore about the world they live in they have become complacent they no longer have to search for food or make there own cloths they just wake each morning in go to work come home eat dinner watch TV and then go to bed and wake up the next day and do it all again they don’t investigate the life around them, I know many people of my generation don’t even understand what the main political parties ideas are or what they will do for the country thou I do admit most are nothing but puppets of a scared society desperately trying to hold to their false sense of control and safety.

I’ve also become very tired of listening to westerns who have nothing better to do but whine and constantly complain about how hard there life is, PLEASE SHUT UP, I guarantee there are over a billion people in Asia, Africa and other parts of the world who have suffered, and are continuing to suffer atrocities far worse than many westerns could ever mange to envisage, I wish they would just grow up sometimes, discover the reality of this world and finally leave there tiny minds and travel to another country where clean water, medicine, and food are not found in the corner store, where people still live in sheds, huts if they are lucky, in conditions that they wouldn’t even let there pets sleep in. Complaining about how hard they have to work in their nice clean neighborhoods, unlike the many people who struggle to survive each day, why don’t you swap for a week and see how you would survive. Complaining about not having a big enough TV, or argue about which celebrity looks "ugly" in that dress, inside there house with a garden and a fence around it, with a supermarket nearby and a school a short drive away in there car, its not as though people aren’t fighting for food, medicine, there homes, clean water, and even there own lives and of the ones they care about the most, love thy neighbor, love thy enemy, love thy self, love all beings and may all attain inner peace and ease

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

FREE WILL, GOOD LUCK

excerpt from "Waking life"
Take the problem of free will. This problem's been around for a long time, since before Aristotle in B.C. St. Augustine, St. Thomas Aquinas, these guys all worried about how we can be free...if God already knows in advance everything you're gonna do. Nowadays we know that the world operates according to some fundamental physical laws, and these laws govern the behavior of every object in the world. Now, these laws, because they're so trustworthy, they enable incredible technological achievements. But look at yourself. We're just physical systems too. We're just complex arrangements of carbon molecules. We're mostly water, and our behavior isn't gonna be an exception to basic physical laws. So it starts to look like whether it's God setting things up in advance...and knowing everything you're gonna do... or whether it's these basic physical laws governing everything. There's not a lot of room left for freedom. So now you might be tempted to just ignore the question, ignore the mystery of free will. Say, "Oh, well, it's just an historical anecdote. It's sophomoric. It's a question with no answer. Just forget about it." But the question keeps staring you right in the face. You think about individuality, for example, who you are. Who you are is mostly a matter of the free choices that you make. Or take responsibility. You can only be held responsible, you can only be found guilty or admired or respected...for things you did of your own free will. The question keeps coming back, and we don't really have a solution to it. It starts to look like all your decisions are really just a charade. Think about how it happens. There's some electrical activity in your brain. Your neurons fire. They send a signal down into your nervous system. It passes along down into your muscle fibers. They twitch. You might, say, reach out your arm. Looks like it's a free action on your part, but every one of those-- every part of that process...is actually governed by physical law: chemical laws, electrical laws and so on. So now it just looks like the Big Bang set up the initial conditions, and the whole rest of our history, the whole rest of human history and even before, is really just sort of the playing out of subatomic particles...according to these basic fundamental physical laws. We think we’re special. We think we have some kind of special dignity, but that now comes under threat. I mean, that's really challenged by this picture. So you might be saying, "Well, wait a minute. What about quantum mechanics? "I know enough contemporary physical theory to know it's not really like that. "It's really a probabilistic theory. There's room. It's loose. It's not deterministic." And that's gonna enable us to understand free will. But if you look at the details, it's not really gonna help...because what happens is you have some very small quantum particles, and their behavior is apparently a bit random. They swerve. Their behavior is absurd in the sense that it's unpredictable...and we can't understand it based on anything that came before. It just does something out of the blue, according to a probabilistic framework. But is that gonna help with freedom? Should our freedom just be a matter of probabilities, just some random swerving in a chaotic system? That just seems like it's worse. I'd rather be a gear...in a big deterministic, physical machine...than just some random swerving. So we can't just ignore the problem. We have to find room in our contemporary world view for persons, with all that that it entails; not just bodies, but persons. And that means trying to solve the problem of freedom, finding room for choice and responsibility...and trying to understand individuality.

(I'd rather be random swerving than a cog)

PRIDE IS THE SIGN OF A FOOLISH MAN

Please can we just let it go I'm tired of holding onto this pain for so long I just got to let it out, shout it out to the world that already knows were suffering but for how long will your pride hold onto what wasn’t your fault you’ve just got to let it go you’ve just got to let it out I was so stupid in the past but I'm trying to move on but you got to let it go you got to let it out I know I wont forget but that’s only so I know what I did wrong but I've moved on you got to do the same I know you want to look back and see ,y face hoping for the words but they’ll never come we got to move on I know it hurts but soon you’ll be in a better place I know in my heart you’ll always be there but I want to see you fly I want to see you let it all go and look inside to what you already have its all you’ll ever need don’t be fooled by everything around you because there just as lost looking for an answer they already know but cant let it go don’t wait to long I know in your eyes your still hoping but your body is telling you to keep going you’ve got to keep going don’t stop now we’ve come so far

Monday, March 20, 2006

CONSUMERS

Excerp from movie "Fight Club"
INT. LOU'S TAVERN - SAME
Jack and Tyler sit in the back, with a pitcher of beer.

TYLER You know man, could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you're sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.

JACK There's always that. I don't know, it's just...when you buy furniture, you tell yourself: that's it, that's the last sofa I'm gonna need. No matter what else happens, I've got that sofa problem handled. I had it all. I had a stereo that was very decent, a wardrobe that was getting very respectable. I was so close to being complete.

TYLER Shit, man, now it's all gone.

JACK All gone.

TYLER Do you know what a duvet it?

JACK Comforter.

TYLER It's a blanket, just a blanket. Now why guys like you and I know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival? In the hunter-gathered sense of the word? No. What are we then?

JACK You know, consumers.

TYLER Right. We're consumers. We're by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty -- these things don't concern me. What concerns me is celebrity magazines, television with five hundred channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.

JACK Martha Stewart.

TYLER Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishes on the brass of the Titanic. It's all going down, man! So fuck off, with your sofa units and your green stripe patterns. I say never be complete. I say stop being perfect. I say let's evolve and let the chips fall where they may. But that's me, I could be wrong, maybe it's a terrible tragedy.

JACK No, it's just stuff.

TYLER Well, you did lose a lot of versatile solutions for a modern life.

JACK Fuck, you're right.

Tyler offers Jack a cigarette.

JACK No, I don't smoke. My insurance will probably cover it, so... Tyler stares at him

JACK What?

TYLER The things you own, end up owing you. But do what you like, man.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

I HOPE YOUR PAIN WONT LAST

I never thought it would come to this,
I never thought your pride was so strong,
But you gotta let it go, Before you hurt someone else
Before you forget the reason why,

How long will it take
How long can you wait
I hope your pain wont last forever
I hope you can smile soon

So many don’t understand, and for so long I thought it was a curse,
But now I can see that I’ve been blessed,
And now I can see even clearer than I have ever before
Its been so long, and I never felt sorry or afraid,

I’ve had my own battles to fight, having lost more than I had wanted,
Thou I see there are no winners when both are fighting,
And what I had once wanted has disappeared into thin air,
The lesson I’ve learned is to trust your heart.

No longer do we have faith anymore, only what we see,
I had to learn how to see the truth without my eyes
Open up my heart to the world around me
That I had shut out for so long

It was a love that I couldn’t keep, that I didn’t understand,
That woke me from the spell of the storm
Now I’ve found it again, I don’t want to loose the universe,
I don’t wont to loose the only thing I care about

The tracks had to be cleared and found
Speeding down into the future with a heart that’s no longer bound,
I finally feel free, having found my wheels,
Let me go and I’ll show you how it feels

Later on in the day 15:36
Stages of dealing with death
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

The whole point of life was never to get married in the first place, so just let it go, your identity doesnt rely upon ANYONE ELSE, it only hurts because you wont let it go and you have spent so much energy time and money on creating a world that was never going to last, do you think the world stops because two people have lost something they never had any way, it was also never meant to gain gold or cloths, large homes or fast cars, but to gain a knowledge of the universe, of your own mind, and then why do you think that you exist just now because you have gotten married, just because you spend so much of your lives together they are still two completely separate lives, with their own destines and energies, and purposes.
The moment we drop our fears and love ourselves and each other the sooner we can make that next step in evolution and leave all this suffering and the moment we stop blaming others and the world for our suffering the better the only person to blame is the one blaming, why don’t we actually look inside ourselves, our own mind and bodies, don’t be fooled happiness and ever lasting life already exist beyond our dreams and all you have to do is let go.
Don’t be a slave to society just because some one tells you so don’t believe them listen to your heart, most of our suffering has arisen out of fear, were afraid people wont like us or they’ll laugh at us, who cares nothing really matters only through the lack of fear and an "egoless love" can we know our true selves and then love will shine through you automatically, the most important tool in the world and yet most of us never even try to train it is our own mind, what good is it that we can fly to the moon yet we cant even feed our own children we spend more money on entertainment than we do helping each other, its really sad to see how much suffering there is in the world that can be eased so easily, but people would rather see how fast they can make a car go round and round, or how far they can hit or kick a ball.

PURPOSE

without fate/destiny there is no purpose without purpose there is nothing, for everything there is a reason for existance, without cause and effect nothing can exist, everything is born from something that already exists

"We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them” Livy –Roman historian 64 or 59 bc- 17 ad

OPEN THE DOOR

Another day without sleep, and with the heat my heart weeps,
I’m not quite sure, but something opened up the door,
You dropped into my heart, no chance to start,
No doctor could resuscitate in time, nor could I ever climb,
Nothing worse than when all you know, is to wait for the seeds to sow,
I just wanna be close, pick a rose,
I just wanna see you smiling, tired of dialling
I just wanna know what your feeling, just your picture is still healing,

WHAT ABOUT TOMORROW

it would be interesting if could jump 20 years into the future and see what happens, the last couple of the years I’ve been wandering what it was that i’m going to be doing the next year, for most of my life always had school to go to, but now after my trip I have finally found something I’m willing to strive before, something I can focus upon to better the world and in the same process my own life, never did I want anything until she fell upon my path, something I could never have planned not even Nostradamus could have predicted that this would happen, in fact he probably could have but maybe not me specifically, now all the pieces are falling into place as my time is here to be reigned upon, to fertilise the ground and watch the mountains part, ha ha ha, only in my own lunch box, but it would be nice to see how things pan out, I guess if you expect everything to change, you will never be disappointed

RELY ON NOBODY

in the end all we really have is ourself, to rely on, who else is going to be there when its all over, aren’t going to have any parents, no lover, no teacher, no musicians, no children, no politicians, so don’t waste ya time chasing what ya aren’t ever going to catch, you know you don’t need the shit anyway, so keep it real, and do what ya have to, to survive, you’ll be lucky if you can do that, because all you wanna do is chase what every one else’s is, yet your all blind chasing what every one else is yet nobody knows who is running in the lead, your all just running in circles if you just took a second to stop and smell the roses you find a friend in yourself, and realize that it all isn’t that,

DOUBT, WHAT DOUBT

can one ever get rid of doubt or is that an ever growing part of the mind as we age, for when we are young we never doubt anything, but maybe as we grow older and experience more we realise that there is no sure thing, and that really anything can happen and does, so maybe then as we get older we need to open our mind up to the possibility that more things will go wrong as we try to control everything, is that what doubt is, the fact that as we get older we try to control more and more what we cant, and deep down we know that, so why keep running, why keep trying to control everything. This week as been good, meeting min park, and getting some teaching organised, and realising how much better it has been not being with the parents, i’m free to do anything but doing nothing at all, that’s more appealing to me as I did what I wanted before any way, its just I copped the crap for it afterward but now there’s no one and the standards of living have changed, as in terms of what is to be expected, its going to be hot today, but at least it’s the last day of the week so I can relax tomorrow which is always my favourite, life at the moment is going along quite comfortably, not to many hassles and no dramas, just kicking back saving and working and a little bit of drinking, not the greatest for achieving but more of a platform to achieve at a latter date, like a seed ready to hatch or a bird ready to fly, first the prep work then sizing up the situation, which could be a little more than I had expected but that always seems to be the case for me so it will certainly be a challenge, hopefully the start of helping those who wouldn’t get the chance otherwise, and its not like something that I don’t know, I’ve been doing it for a while now,

WHAT CHARM

Aries “ if you want to mount a battle don’t mount a campaign of pressure, launch a charm offensive. A well chosen word, whispered seductively in the right ear at the right moment, is more influential than a long speech, delivered at full volume through an enormous loud speaker. You may feel that you shouldn’t have to be nice in order to bring about a result that is right. If you care enough about the outcome, though, you will go beyond your sense of annoyance, and will simply pursue the most positive, practical route to success.”

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Friday, May 19, 2006

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Monday, May 08, 2006

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Monday, May 01, 2006

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Monday, April 10, 2006

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Friday, March 31, 2006

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Monday, March 27, 2006

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Friday, March 24, 2006

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Monday, March 20, 2006

Saturday, March 18, 2006