Just too many people thinking they know shit, but they dont know shit, and then they judge you on that shit, which isn't shit shit, because they don't know shit, you gotta love that shit.

NEVER FORGET, that IF your my FRIEND and can see this, YOU always HAVE someone that CARES for and LOVES you, so when your SAD or LONELY you can message ME anytime and i will LISTEN to you.

I wish i could of been a better son, a better father, a better man, but I'm weak and have done the best i could.

When all others fail, I'll be the one waiting for you in the mist, to carry you home.

LOve

We all need to be loved, We all need to feel important, We all need to know that people care. So tell those you love, tell those who are important, tell those that you care about, how you feel.

Teaching in Thailand 5 Tips #2

1.Social gatherings/activities are more important than class time, so don't be upset when you lose a class or a day, just sit back and read or play games. 2.If your chatty, people will love you, here they don't like people who are quiet, in fact I don't think they like silence at all. 3. Snacksssssssssss everybody here loves eating all day all the time, if you really want to move up, buy people foooooood. 4. Don't worry about scores, people make it up as they go along anyway. 5.Calm the FUCK down, don't take it so seriously no one else is.

Teaching in Thailand 5 Tips #1

1. Just be on time, it's that simple come to school and classes on time, it makes you look good and professional, especially everybody else is late. 2.Make sure you look respectable and "handsome/beautiful" each day, nothing is more popular than a handsome shirt or beautiful dress. 3.Tell others how beautiful/handsome they are, compliments here goooooooo a very long way. 4.Get to know the school/year calendar, this way you will know most of the holidays and events that will happen that no one will inform you about. 5.DON'T ask questions, if you need information ask the students, or find indirect ways of getting what you need.

Dont come to Thailand

Dont come here if you expect everything to be on time, or anybody, time here is not important, and everybody, everything will be late, make sure you read that and understand it, because NO ONE will be on time. Dont get upset if you are NOT told about any change in your schedule or timetable for that day. (Activites always take precedence). Dont get upset if you arent told about your class being cancelled. Dont get upset if your class teacher isnt in your class every minute, or even every class or day. Dont be upset if none of your students do their homework. Dont be upset if your students copy in class. Dont be upset if your students offer you money for a good score. Dont be upset if your students like to touch you. Dont be upset if your students complain how white/black or hairy you are. Dont be upset if some students in your class dont even know ABC, cant read, or cant write. DO NOT expect any student OR teacher to know anything about English. Dont expect the school director or thai teachers to talk to you or tell you what is happening.

If i cant get something useful out of this anxiety and depression ive wasted my life.

America is the biggest terrorist country in the world

I dont know why everythings ISIS are the end of the world, Americans have Killed far more people in the last 30-40 years, overthrown elected governments, created a september eleven 40 years ago, how many americans know about that????? even used nuclear weapons on people, who really are the terrists???????? What a tragedy in France with the newspapers etc, how can people think its okay to kill someone for a picture???????

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my son

An ode to my son, the second edition, from an ode to my father, I love you more than anything you know, there is nothing you could do that would stop me from loving you, nothing i wouldn't do for you, my purpose now is you, and i will make mistakes, i wont be perfect, but please son, i love you with all of my heart, and please son forgive me for everything and anything i do that hurts you

I love how people judge me complain about my "ego" and yet they know nothing about my life or hat i have done, it just goes to show how ignorant people are, and how sensitive they have become, and how unrealistic they are about themselves, it only goes to show me how little people really know about themselves, and it makes me sad, because they aren't in control of their lives, and constantly blame other people for their problems, because the more you know yourself, the more you can love and forgive, and the less you judge others.

u

I find it amusing how easily people get upset, judgmental and abusive when you disagree with their opinion, or ask them questions, i've noticed people aren't interested in discussions or debates and very few are able to do so, they just want everyone to like and agree with what they say, but then then how can new ideas or a deeper understanding of an idea ever grow, i think people are just more interested in judging others and complaining about how bad their life is, or hard it is, either accept the truth and move on, or reject the lie and move on, or accept the situation or change it

change

The world wont change until people realize it is them who must change. people are easily aroused but very few follow that excitement with any action. Because its not easy to change yourself, you need to reflect on what you do and say, on a daily basis, you need to be aware of how you react and feel, how you treat other people, and not just your friends or family, but the people you work with, and strangers in the street. You need to be aware how you treat people differently, how you lie to yourself, and to those around you, and the information you share and what you hide from others. To become aware of your own feelings and not compromise yourself because others disagree with you. We also must stop believeing and accepting the mainstream media, is telling us, we ned to question more, and not always react in a haste.

An ode to my father, the only person i know that has loved me from the day i was born, he has always been a light, a guide for me, ive not always followed his lead, because at times ive allowed my ego to control my actions, ive been selfish, and arrogant, but no matter how much ive wronged him, how much ive hurt him, or others, he has always stood by me, side by side, he will always be the first person i pick for my team, ive yet to meet a man, as honest and kind as him, always ready to help others even when those, who have wronged him, and those who have slandered against him, i stand stronger today, not because of who i am, but because who my father was and is, a real, and a real father, there is no greater gift of blessing a child could receive than a real father.

lost

The problems we suffer today, are because we have lost our way, we have forgotten where we come from, and what connects us, we have left behind what united us, and now worship what destroys us, we don't know who we are, or why we are here, and we value systems like religion, politics and fame, which do nothing but divide and hold us back, we have come to value what is unimportant, because we have lost what is real.

chapter one

It was a cold night out, typical for this time of year, cold and wet, and if you were really lucky, windy. This tended to be more painful then the other two, which were just mild annoyances, especially for someone who’s lived their whole lives in this old, dirty city. The only places open at this time of the night or is it morning, I was never sure when that exchange was made, were derelict buildings or buildings of derelict behavior. My home from home was the local casino, when I wasn’t working or sleeping I was wasting my time and money on drinks and the occasional whore that was left over. The neon lights now became my bedtime light, without the bed. You could waste hours and days in here without knowing what was happening out there in the dark, or the day, the streets had grown to feed off anyone that would look them in the eye. I swear our own species will end up killing ourselves with the seven deadly sins before we know what’s going on, and we have nothing left but to decay into fossils, for another time to find us. I wonder who else can see it all happening right before their eyes, but still do nothing. I just sit here night after night throwing cash into chips and whiskey. Lucky or unlucky for me, I never win big, nor lose big, I generally break even each night, maybe because money never concerned me, probably why I’m never chasing that big win, that will make me rethink my whole life and quite playing while I’m ahead. “Thanks dear I’ll have another on the rocks. Hey did you get your hair down? You’re looking amazing tonight.” “Shut up, you’re always talking sweet but when are you going to take me out for dinner?” “Ha ha ha trust me it’s for own good, I’m no good for you.” “I think I’ll be the judge of who is good for me and who isn’t.” “Hmmmmm ok when I win big I’ll take you out to a movie and dinner, any where you want to go.” “Bhaaaa your so old fashioned aren’t you?” “It’s how I was bought up. Well I’m off to drain out the old whiskey to make room for that drink I’ve been waiting for, for the last 20 minutes.” “Yeah you’re real romantic aren’t you.” “I told you I’m no good for you.” After so long you get to know the local girls, they no longer look attractive, especially when they all try to act like your mother. I never got on with that women, so I’ll be damned if I let another one like her into my life. I knew this place like the back of my hand, I must of done this journey a million times, a million drunk, so I never needed help getting around the flashing lights and whizzing and banging that when on at all the machines and tables, as people won and lost their life savings. I always wondered if the guys in the offices that run this place ever cared about what happens to a husband, father, son, mother, grandmother that’s feeling lucky and decides to put down all the money he or she saved up for years only to lose all that work in 5 minutes. I guess you couldn’t run a place like that if thought the way I did. Opening the door, I caught the flash of a gun going off, and a guy all in black run past me with a briefcase, almost shoved me to the floor, maybe I’m not as drunk as I thought I was, took me a few seconds to realize what happened. Who the fuck took that iron? I ran back in and say a guy on the ground, a red pool was already surrounding his head, where did he get it, in the head? I saw him clutching his chest. “He got me in the fucking chest, that fucking motherfucking I’m gonna take you to hell with me, if I get up from this floor, you fuck, I’m not dying on a toilet floor, come on buddy don’t just stand there get me out of this shit fucking room.” “Look buddy if I move you it might get worse.” “If I’m fucking dead it’s not gonna be any worse is it. Just move me you fucking bitch” “Well if you’re dead what difference does it make if you’re in the toilet?” “Fuck you buddy, your fucking taking the piss aren’t you?” “Okay relax, let me try and pick you up.” He was really heavy almost as tall as me, but he was way bulkier, and couldn’t help at. “Ok that’s enough you need to stop the bleeding.” “Why did he shoot you, and what was in that briefcase?” “What the fuck are you a cop or what?” “Argh yeah, I’m a detective, but I’m on leave at the moment, so we can do this off the books, how’s that sound? I won’t tell anyone, if you wont.” “How the fuck can I trust you pig?” “Well buddy if you’re not dead in 5 minutes you will be on the way to the hospital and there you will be in even more danger, because I’m pretty sure if they find out where you are they will come and finish the job. And you won’t get any protection without my help” “Ok I will talk to you, but no one else, you need to help me, but I can’t tell you what’s in the case.” “Who was that guy that shot you?” “I don’t know his name, his code name should have been Zorro, and he was just supposed to drop off the cash and take the case, but he told me he didn’t have any money, so he said he was just going to kill me instead.” “How did he know to meet you here?’ “Usually my boss just sends word online, to their boss, and then at the end we buzz at the end, to make the final drop.” “Ok well your ride is here, you might actually survive, I’ll come round and see you later, I’ve got some work to do.” “You better not cheat me” “I don’t think you’re in a good position to be telling me what to do.” “Fuck you.” “Ok guys take care of him, I need him alive, at least for the next 48hrs. And make sure the blue put a couple on watch for him till I get back tonight, or tomorrow” “Hey what the fuck I’m not going anywhere soon.” “Yeah we’ll see” “Hey come on sir please just remain calm and lie down.” “I am fucking calm, I didn’t kill that pig did I, yet.” “The way you’re looking buddy, you’d be lucky to do anything right now.” As I watched them rush this guy off to his ride into heaven or hell, I knew he wasn’t being honest with me, and if I was to help him, id need help, and to take a trust nobody kinda liking to everyone I meet “Here’s your drink darling.” “Haaaa come on now, you know that kinda talk won’t get you anywhere with me.” “So what was the deal with that guy?” “I don’t know but I’m gonna find out soon enough.” I knew if I was going to find this guy I would need to get to a computer, and without my own details. “Hey Cuper you up aren’t ya?

awareness

change can only begin, when you become aware of yourself, the moment you begin to know yourself, your habits, and how your own mind works, only then can you ever find true happiness and peace, As a trained psychologist, id like to know to what extent awareness has to do with intelligence because im yet to find any study that includes it as a factor, and yet, ive found it to be so essential, why is that?

antikythera mechanism

http://www.nature.com/scientificamerican/journal/v301/n6/box/scientificamerican1209-76_BX1.html

pain, relief.

The rain began, the thunder clapped, The tears began, the door slammed She walked away, my heart stopped, The trees swayed, my dreams flashed, As the fear flowed in, I never thought it would be, A well I fell in, floating alone in a sea Learning to let go, relax your shoulders, Let them drop, bring it back to now, In, out, stop.