WHAT HAPPENED

I cant believe time has gone by so quick meeting so many people everywhere, and there’s no time for sitting on your arse, and the contrast between rich and poor are like never I have seen, and the pro’s make the most money with others on 3 dollars a day, went to Phi Phi island last night for half moon party which was off the hook, a party right on the beach with fire dancing and buckets of bourbon for 6 dollars, people nice but way too many tourists, everyday has been a big learning curve, with many people at franks bar, Stens Queen Mary, bangle, Phi Phi was absolutely beautiful and what I thought Phuket would be, but its so dirty.

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UNBELIEVABLE

, hot and wet, an absolutely unbelievable time here. The contrast between beauty/ugly, good/bad, is really really Jekyll and Hyde, everything here is for sale, and the amount of people I have met and know, has blown out all initial plans and abilities I thought I would have, which all started Thursday night, have dinner a few drinks and end up on the beach, meet 10-15 people, then from there meet another 10 -15 people each night a new bar, with more falang, to get mao, meet mainly good people, Jason, looked after me, met nick(aussie)bar-Katoy’s R US, then Sten (I think with great place) opening party and will be mao, and went to bangle unbelievable go to Soi Lion, where all the pro’s work, 300 baht just to release than pay 1000 baht.

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FINALLY HOME

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Baan Jintana,, Patong beach, Phuket, hot wet, and wet, unbelievable, its so weird flying, you walk down this small hall sit down in a small chair surrounded by hundreds of people, watch a movie, sleep a little, then try to sleep a little more, then you wake up again and BANG your in another world amazing everything has gone better than I could have planned, a lot better, no checks straight to the hotel, dodgy shower lovely room, TG bloody everywhere, there all cute.

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MANIC DEPRESSIVE

at home in Melbourne, cold wet windy mid teens, overcast, quite a bit nervous at times, and sometimes rather excited, but then sometimes it doesn’t quite seem real, as though nothing is going to happen.

I am of the nature to age, I have not gone beyond ageing,
I am of the nature to sicken, I have not gone beyond sickness,
I am of the nature to die, I have not gone beyond dying,
All that is mine beloved and pleasing will change and become otherwise, will become separate from me.
I am the owner of my karma, heir to my karma, born of my karma, related to my karma, abide separated by my karma, whatever karma I shall do, for good or ill, of that I will be the heir.
Buddha.

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DAY BY DAY I GROW

its hard to say how much I have “improved”, over the last year, until I am in that situation again, maybe its my fear of loneliness that has pushed further into religion, I don’t crave that kind of attention anymore, but would rather seek out the wise, and compassionate teachers which I know are out there, hopefully along my travels I will be able to meet and learn from such wisdom, to let go when it really counts, its so easy to say I will do this, and be like that, but until the actual experience dawns upon us, we really don’t know what to expect, which can make it hard to prepare for but a hell of a lot more rewarding, but only if your open enough, and not to stubborn, it is amazing how religion can release all of your fears, is it because it is the truth, is it just because it feeds us a false hope, well will any kind of hope do, is a form of brainwashing, done by the individual, is it love, is it fear, that we believe and will we follow what ever feeds that, what is it that drives one to even seek such answers, is it fear and love, or is it just to find answers which are beyond our comprehension, how simple we are, how easy it is to solve everyone else’s problem, without the grey ;life would be so simple but why do we let emotion and attachment, and the ego, to interrupt our decisions, therefore our lives, I just wish to love all beings the way they wish to be loved, to make them happy with whatever they need to be happy, and to be free, of suffering, no matter, how much or little, big or small, short or tall, we still suffer, you cant rid the world of suffering for people but only show them how they can do it for themselves, freedom and suffering are funny words, as they can mean such much to some, for some people freedom is a physical ability, that they can go and do whatever they want when they want, but this is not freedom, freedom comes from within, some people who work or day, and all week, don’t feel free either, and suffering for some one could be as small as losing money or having something stolen, this is their suffering and is of no less significance as another because it causes the same amount of stress, but what are you really losing, your gaining your own freedom back, the more you own the more stress you accumulate, and the more they begin to own you, but for those who loose there whole family wouldn’t even care if they lost everything they owned, and this could be at any age

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