good days and bad, waves of emotions blending into each other, fueled by loneliness, caffeine, stress, worry and overthinking, trying to find positive vibes and activities to do that avoid alcohol and money, music, movies and games are filling the void for now, but they don't last long till my mind catches on and starts up again, somehow emotions can arise out of nowhere and I try to run but, but they are always in the back of my mind, I think i need to just let them come and be there in the moment, good or bad, and try to not hang on to either, but my "life situation" is getting better, school is fine, money is getting slightly better, but being alone and knowing Jib is also struggling almost intensifies any negative feelings making the small things seem bigger than they really are, for now, 99% of my "problems" are mental which makes irritating, I get caught up in hating myself, or being angry at myself, how can I forgive and forget? It's annoying when you know how to do things, or at least a few ideas, but still find it difficult to do, I remember once a long long time ago, my mother told me, stop thinking, just do,  great advice, I just don't have many things to do, would be nice to have a day or two off to do nothing and think nothing, I've become my own worst enemy