A lot of people who visit Thailand think it's heaven, and in certain places for a short period of time, it certainly can be. But when compared to living in the country it can be just as hellish and difficult as any other country in the world. For so many that only stay for a short time barely see the reality of what it is like to stay and live here, There is a very thick skin of beauty and happiness that spread all over the county, often by the very people that are struggling to make ends meet, and are constantly struggling to deal with life on a daily basis

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It doesn't get any easier 2

Do people even still read blogs, there's been so much going on that no one would believe it, even though I'm not that good of a writer to create such an "amazing" but also terrible story, with so many bad things happening all at once, and it never ends. The year '23 started ok, all our plans were coming true, and we had saved enough money to fix up my adoring wife's old house. Which had been left to ruin for about 10 years, with the odd person staying for shot times here and there. Often seasonal workers or labourers who had found work nearby. So the house hadn't been looked after and had lost a lot of its beauty as had many other old wooden houses that were so popular by the older generations. I must admit I do tend to enjoy their aesthetics more than these modern houses which all look the same and have no character. I know the younger more hip generation likes the new designs but these houses are terrible in this climate of high temperatures, humidity and flooding every year. We had planned to move in earlier but some things came up so it was so exciting to finally be able to complete the renovations and move in. We made our bedroom a VIP-style room, and though the size wasn't anything much, everything inside was of high quality with comfort being a priority. Everything was going so well after we moved in with our 9 cats, everyone was enjoying the new place. There was enough space for everyone to have their own room, and enjoy doing what they liked. Before we had all been staying in an apartment, 4 people with 9 cats, and it wasn't the best conditions for a peaceful sleep. but we managed it and it made us all better.

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It doesn't get any easier

 Days, weeks, and months have passed, and yet the feeling hasn't gone, the feeling is always there in my chest, like a fist of ache pulsating away every second, nothing can stop it nothing can hide it, images flash by of a happier time when everything was going so well, and then it all changed and I feel like its never going to get any better, almost every aspect of my life now is creating problems which I can't control and have little power to do anything. Maybe writing about it all can help to just get it out and rationalize everything has happened over the last year.

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