Monday, June 07, 2004

7 June 2004 5:06 AM

when one begins the path of the eightfold path, and attempts to change his or her life around to a spiritual one, there are many emotions attached to this experience, as I guess many human experiences endure, but they are felt so deeply its as though you become that emotion in every cell of your being, you think, feel and act solely on its energy, the problem is it can be both positive and negative, especially when one doesn’t yet have the practice or wisdom to delve deeper into, and beyond, this is not just a Buddhist situation either, but plain and simple a religious one, and is really only significant for those on a spiritual path, as many people are either born into a religion and unfortunately they never really investigate there own religion or anything spiritual at all, or they care not for what is right in front of them and choose to ignore what they either cant see or fear, and end up filling there lives with so much crap that in the end they really do have no time for spiritual growth which is a real shame, because this is what makes you grow as a human being, and gives you the ability for compassion, empathy and a connection between your fellow man which is already there and has been for ever and will always be there, this body we have comes from the ground and will eventually return, and be born again, it is not permanent and what is impermanent is empty, for it is not permanent, and permanent is not form, only that which is permanent, is impermanence. I must admit though there was time when I was younger that I was not in favour of any spirituality or form of organised religion, as they all seemed so hypocritical, until of course when I actually made an effort to investigate upon my own, and shake the veil of ignorance, instead of running and being afraid, I just stopped and sat quite for a while until I could look upon my own mind and see it for what it is, though with guidance of course I did this, and with a little help from the school counsellor, who allowed me to get so much shit off my chest, in which I had never let out before, and when I realised that what ever your trouble or fear is, its never as bad as you would think when you face it, especially with the aid of spiritual practice and wisdom, we all have weakness some of course are easier to deal with than others, though nothing is new, what ever your problem, its arisen and been dealt with before, by a lot more people than you would think, and were expected to fall off every now and then, unless you have joined the monastic life, then there will be consequences for your actions, but there is less distraction, and just plain rubbish, so there is less temptation, but needs such strength and ability to be able to spend such large amounts of time with him/herself, without the distractions, its not so bad doing a couple of days here and there, when you know it will be over again, but I must attempt it again, and feel that this is the only way I will find meaning within my own life, along with fasting as well which is also an amazing experience, almost as though your teasing the beast from within to venture out and show itself, this is when your strength and its weakness are at its most prominent and visible, its rather exciting, when one knows what to expect, ………………………………. Maybe this is where fear comes from, this is very interesting, fear obviously comes from a lack of knowledge, uncertainty, and inexperience, so why do we constantly stay within this state when the answers, experience, wisdom, knowledge are out here, spirituality is now my key to happiness, guidance, experience, knowledge, wisdom, and help………………………………..


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