YOUR PAIN BECOMES OUR PAIN

first one for the year and it will be quite a long one, with a fair bit to catch up on, I wonder if any one can know someone else’s pain, it’s a funny thing pain and suffering so much of it is made within and it seems that each mountain I climb it is only replaced by a larger one and I just keep thinking what’s the point of it all just more suffering its seems to never end I just want the pain to stop, I have also realised that I live by what I have in my own heart and not what I can hold in my hand, I would also like to know how many others have found what they were looking for, for your whole life becomes a challenge, and then have had to give it all up because you left behind a tiny hole, now that tiny hole has grown beyond this world and all you can think is getting back to where you were before nothing else mattered, and I just want to go as soon as possible but I know that if I stick around a little longer that that tiny hole will disappear for ever, but the pain of each moment tears you apart, my favourite things over life have changed, but the amount of what I wanted has always been on the decline over the last few years but what I was willing to do for the rest of my life had never presented itself to me though over those same few years I always knew it would have something to do with helping others and i’m also, now for the first time, able to do what I want any where I want, I finally have something to dedicate or strive for in life whenever I’ve become lost and wandering it has always ended up messy, very messy so it hasn’t been till now that I have found a path to travel upon and every bump or stop may not be planned but the direction will remain and that’s for the benefit of others nothing else matters but I must always remain true and not give in, I must always make it a priority to find some quiet time alone, as I need time to relax, and space to be silent, and have silence consume every part of me.
Its funny that I have also just realized this week that I have been blessed with good people my whole, and have had the strength to hold my own when that company have not been by my side, I have be able to go in and around, where many others are not able to recall back from, and are forever drawn and glued to that one feeling, thou it has often left me on the outer, it has been far better to observe many things than to experience for my self that which can not always be left behind. I must also remind myself that not to long ago, around the same time of year I also experienced the same as which I now go through, and have been there before I know what to do and what not to do, and what can be left and must be dealt with, and what is necessary and what is in surplus, but I can now use this time for reflection, and look to see what it is I want, and what I have to do to fulfil my personal legend, which is indeed what I am on track now to follow, what exactly I will end up doing is not really relevant just as long as it fits the criteria as set above, and I can move on to increase and not be a part of the problem any longer and hopefully become a part of the solution, the road has many cracks, turns and bumps, but If I stay true to myself and the path I will have no need to worry, and know that all things pass, with less than six months roughly till I go home again, I shall use this time to further my reading, and listening, and my practice most of all, so that I will be ready for the travelling ahead, I am certain it will not all go as I wish, but I think if I don’t rush anything and go at my own pace, and listen to my heart, and not throw away all of my money, then I will never be lost again, and never need to rely upon the help of others, regardless of what happens, I must always look within, not out to find happiness, and to maybe even let go of a few things to achieve that.

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