You know you've been in Thailand for too long......
* if the footprints on the toilet seat are your own.
* you no longer wait in line, but go immediately to the head of the queue.
* you stop at the bottom of the escalator to plan your day.
* you habitually punch all the buttons as you leave the lift.
* it has become exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anybody can get off.
* you're willing to pay to use a toilet you wouldn't go to within a kilometer of at home.
* it is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting.
* you rank the decision making abilities of your staff by how long it takes them to reply "up to you."
* you no longer wonder how someone making US$400 a month can drive a Mercedes.
* you accept the fact that you have to queue to get your number for the next queue.
* you have considered buying a motorcycle for the next family car.
* you accept without question the mechanic's analysis that the car is "broken" and that it will cost you a lot of money to get it "fixed."
* you are no longer surprised when you are passed while passing another vehicle.
* you find it saves time to stand and retrieve your cabin baggage while the plane is on final approach.
* you think the Proton and Kijang are a well-built, stylish cars.
* you regard running hand-in-hand with all your family as the best way to cross the highway.
* you love the challenge of avoiding meter-deep potholes at highway speeds.
* you are quite content to repeat your order six times in a restaurant that only has four items on the menu.
* you can shake your hands almost perfectly dry before wiping them on your pants, or you have your suits made with terrycloth pockets.
* a T-bone steak and rice sounds just fine.
* you believe everything you read in the local newspaper.
* you enjoy singing along with televised prayers and anthems.
* you regard traffic signals, stop signs and copy-watch peddlers with equal disdain.
* if you have developed an uncontrollable urge to follow people carrying small flags.
* nobody else can top your tales of exotic foods, or would want to.
* if, when listening to the pilot prove he can't speak English, you no longer wonder if he can understand the Air Traffic Controllers.
* you regard it as part of the adventure when the waiter exactly repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different.
* you have more knick-knacks than your grand-mother.
* you're not surprised that three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb.
* you understood all the references above. ...
* you own more than one rice cooker (too many credit cards?)
* you think its normal to wait six days to get your drycleaning back or pay 50% surcharge for next day service
* you've seen every new Hollywood release at UA Queensway (before its been taken off)
* you no longer notice the subtitles
* taxi drivers understand you
* the people handing out free samples (tissues or sanitary pads) at the MTR actually offer you one
* the people handing out real estate or restaurant flyers written in Thai give you one
* you know what's on TV tonight and are prepared to watch it
* you use your mobile on the MTR
* you've considered buying ANYTHING lime green
* you think its normal to buy milk in a box with a use by date of Sept 99, or are prepared to drink a cappuccino made with it
* you no longer think you'll die if you eat the local seafood
* at banquets you try first and ask what it is second
* you no longer freak out when your doctor suggests a routine tuberculosis test
* (due to selective memory) you honestly believe you could return to the western world and live an hour from the city and/or survive without a maid
* You forget how to use a knife and Folk
*You cannot construct a sentence in your own language
*You believe "It's raining" is a valid excuse for being two hours late for an important meeting!
You consider it normal to put a couple of chinks of ice in a glass of beer
Your standards regarding "clean" food stalls have dropped drastically
When touching the top of your girlfriends head with the sole of your foot is no longer amusing.
*you don't miss toilet paper
*You hear Thais cutting down another race and listen to see why they may be right
*You show up at a buffet and can name all the foods in Thai
*You see footprints on the toilet seat and can name who they belong to
*You have figured out that touts exist because many Thais can't read thai
*You no longer cringe when taking a motorcycle taxi
*You avoid going to Pattaya not because of the amount of tourists, but because of certain girls *You can tell a taxi driver a faster way to get there
*You always remember to take off your socks before entering the bathroom Wayyy too long if.... *You go to work and expect to make a difference
*You're pre-planning materials to make your Katong for this year's festival
*You want to know how many golden balls of fire the "river dragon" sent up this year
*You have more than four digits in your post amount on ajarn
*someone says "cool" and you think of the weather
*You feel uneasy looking at playing cards
*You wonder why and how westerners use toilet paper
*You hear thr word "bro" and think Pee or nung
*You don't notice the movie just read the subtitles
You let your kids watch the 7pm show on channel 7 so you have an hour of peace and quiet
*You wish you could vote in the next election or the next or the next.
sleeping on a mat feels like sleeping on a bed
You wonder why, back home, buses can't just stop anywhere pick up people.
you don't stop at red lights - instead you hang a left, U-turn and hang another left .
1 comment:
hello from thailand, how are you
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