Wednesday, December 13, 2023

Lovely love Luang Phaw Dharmajayo

        All you need to know to make your love happy. 

        This is a basic review, a discussion of the things I found important, or useful for myself in this book. To begin with, there is a big difference I've learnt between knowing and really understanding. Sometimes for me, I know what you are saying, but I didn't really understand, I didn't really understand what you meant, and I really need to improve that in the future. 

        How??? I'm not sure that sometimes going through pain with each other can help to feel, sometimes it's better than 1000 words. The book does reference past lives, which is a concept I will admit is a little difficult to explain, though to be honest it would explain the bond, the connection I have found, because science certainly doesn't. 

 One of the first interesting concepts is the seven types of spouses. 
                            1. Spouse like a murderer. 
                            2. Spouse like a thief. 
                            3. Spouse like a boss. 
                            4. Spouse like a parent. 
                            5. Spouse like a sibling. 
                            6. Spouse like a friend. 
                            7. Spouse like a servant.
I think in a long-term relationship responsibilities will change, and roles will change. The seven types mentioned here are rather self-explanatory obviously, the first two are not ideal and will certainly end a relationship, or at least make it hard to sustain. 

    Next, we have ten tips that can help 
            
                1. Don't show our dirty laundry in public. 
                2. Don't bring external problems or gossip into the house. 
                3. Give to those who give to us. 
                4. Don't give to those that don't return things to us. 
                5. Give to those that are in need. 
                6.Sit with peace. 
                7. Eat with peace. 
                8. Sleep with peace. 
                9. Preserve the fire. 
                10. Respect everyone. 

                These can be helpful to keep any relationship, whether in the home, the family, extended family or even friends and community. There are also some other points made which could be a little more useful in a marriage, such as remaining calm, smiling, not forgetting to say or express love, complimenting each other and smiling. Not only should we look to improve ourselves daily, but we MUST never forget why we got married in the first place. Often when we get angry or experience any negative feelings, we may not listen to our partner, and we may even hurt them with our actions or speech, which can be very detrimental to our relationship in the future. Sometimes even if our partner is correct or says something rather useful, our ego will instantly reject it, which is a terrible thing to do to the one we love. This is why remaining calm is so important. I know it's not always easy, but our relationship and our lives require this. We need to keep encouraging and praising them so that they remain happy as much as possible. 

                Our aim, our goal should be to keep the home happy and comfortable at all times, though this can be difficult, very difficult, if we can improve, increase our awareness and keep this in mind at all times, over time it will grow and become easier, better and everyone will benefit. Meditation can be a great way to increase and help people stay mindful. Even creating a mantra can help, there are many out there, or you wish to create your own. Just as long as it is simple, easy to remember easy to repeat, and can be said quickly over and over again. It doesn't need to be difficult, complex, or even that deep, something simple as "I love _(insert name)__, I love you, I love you" can transform your mind and relax you. It's also important to remember that no matter how long two people have been together, we still can't read each other's minds, and that we shouldn't assume we know what they want, this is why honesty, trust and communication are so important, always and forever. 

            Not just at the beginning or when we feel like it, but ALWAYS. 

            So to sum up this review, Always be mindful, Always love, and Always show love. 


                                            Truthfulness, Self-control, Endurance, Generosity.

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