I guess if ur in hell, things cant get any worse

 

On the first day of work, the second day of the year, maybe I should start doing this more often, some say it helps, maybe it does, because I can barely sleep most nights, there's a pain that never goes away, and a fear that is constant, I know most of it is in my head, but I'm usually right, need to manage everything all alone, no one can really help you, money is good, but it doesn't take away the pain, doesn't take away loneliness, doesn't take away the fear, life is to be forever a gamble, joy has left, and there is rarely anything that is enjoyable, there are so many things to fear, so many things that will go wrong, I can understand why so many want it to end because living a lie or living in constant pain and fear affect how much you care, and that can spiral out of control and there's no end to that hole.

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