If its over?

 Sometimes its good to get things off your chest, whether they are good or bad, sometimes id rather be alone, again middle of the night and i cant sleep, i wish i had something else to do to pass the time, i need to find something productive, something that doesnt cost money and even better to make money, some things just cant be forgotten, it destroys everything, this feelig just hasnt gone away, being alone doesnt help, but then i dont get hurt, i always have to be careful becuse once an idea gets into my head it just wont go away, im just tired of feeling like this for so long, so if its over i know it will take years to get back,  just even to level, its going to take so much get back, what do you do when your sad? what do you do when you depressed? the more this goes on, the more i understand hy people take their own lives, cause some things never get better, some things hurt so much it will never go away, like trust, a glass once broken can be glued back together, but the cracks and small shards that are never going to go away, its like a drug, 

a medicine or other substance which has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body.

"a new drug aimed at sufferers from Parkinson's disease"

Similar:

medicine

medical drug

medication

medicament

remedy

cure

antidote

cure-all

panacea

nostrum

potion

elixir

magic bullet

physic

• a substance taken for its narcotic or stimulant effects, typically illegally.

  "a cocaine-based drug"
• what can you do if your an addict and cant let go? cant heal that wound? a day by day, no more plans for the future, just try to survive for the day is going to be difficult, 
• 
  
• the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.

the craving is always there, the pain is always there, at least everyone now has some one so if i go it wont be a big problem, some may be sad, but they will be able to manage, crying and tears do help, but everything is just a bandaid, theres nothing worse than mental issues and mental pain, because you cant see it, and time doesnt heal it in a few days or weeks, wish i could just turn off my brain and not be so sensitive, not think, not feel, will talking help? who am i can going to tell who can i just let everything out because i dont want others to suffer from the truth , just me knowing is enough, and its not going to help me by getting others involved, all i wanna do is close my eyes, and float away, and sleep, my eyes are heavy and i can barley keep going i hope everyone else is ok and happy, just enjoy what your doing, because nothing makes me happy  anymore, just gotta work and save and do nothing else, stay out of trouble, keep quiet, wish i was stronger, sometimes i feel like im a teenager again mentally, weak, confused, stupid, tired, when will it end?