3 February 2004

my biggest fear without a doubt is death and nothing else, I listen to the silence of delirium and I am free, for a while, then dropped into a cart travelling at tornado speeds and falling great heights while my body goes through an array of emotions I can only hold for so long, until the music then takes them out of my control and boils them over the edge, as I tingle, cry, weep, laugh, cringe, and the sky stays the same as my body is never the same, a trip upon the clouds floating over hell and heaven, love and hate, its hard to believe that we have come so far yet how far can one travel, no matter how he or she knows, with one paddle, I am a fool, I am a fool, my soul seems to be aching but for what, or who, some one I know or have already met, or someone I may meet, or does it come down to someone I have to meet, or be met by, maybe i’m not ready, or she is not ready, I am actually looking forward to two tribes coming up in a month which will be so damn good, these threads I wear are no different to the skin I wear, or hair that drapes down my body, and the lungs that are constantly being brushed with the air of my world, which is older than this body, the water and dirt that makes up this world and me is so old, I know it has many things for me to learn, many many things, I wish to learn as much as possible, and to also help all those that need, and more importantly are ready for it, so many people fool themselves each second of the day, the leaves don’t fall if this is all one but change from one position to another much like the water through my body, each beat another fill to my heart, and body cant help but follow my heads lead, as the controls are set for know where like the bag in the breeze, or drop of rain from the sky, they each know there path but there destination more then likely never arises because there is no beginning, ……………………………….....................................

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