And it makes me a better person for seeing, it also helps a lot with my own family, to appreciate the quiet moments, playing with my son, as he laughs and squeals, he is so easy to take care of, and playing dominos with my daughters, and reading the abc cards and the vegetable cards, or books of coloring and writing. I wonder how hard I should push them and in which direction. Ultimately I want them to follow their own paths where ever they lead, I will be around to help if they fall. Time keeps clicking away, and yet I feel I have gone no where, or haven’t done anything. But slowly I’m growing inside and everything is moving ok. On the 3rd day of Songkan, its nice to relax and watch the circus, and see how people do things here, watching the children and the families. And the people that come to visit, and listen to what they have to say. So often it’s far more interesting than anything on TV, which we just got a few days, due to a friend leaving to go to Chiang Mai. And a new desk from the lady who we rent our house from. Alex is eating pumpkin and banana, its so hot and still only 9 o’clock in the morning. Why is it we never have money during this time of year? Last year I didn’t even drink, this year I had 2 bottles of gin, which is a major upgrade. But life seems quite hard here for people but I think their desires get the best of them. There’s always plenty of food around, and amazing fruit just in the streets. I’ve never seen so many fruit trees not in orchards or on farms. And I can see how love is what saves us, any time I’m down it always brings me back, its all we need, without it we die, with love we never die and live for ever. Stop living life like it could be, wake up and see what your life is. For as long as you constantly stay in the past or in the future you will miss what is happening now. Be kind to yourself and gentle, love and play. Be honest with yourself. Then you can be honest with all life, what is it you want from life? What do you want to do? It’s amazing to just ride around and take in the amazing places, where I am, it is so crazy sometimes, but there are still moments where you can see life, and that people have just become so bogged down into one track thinking which has been fed to them by those in power.
T he stillness where shadows whisper, I wander the garden of my solitude, Amongst the withered petals of hope, Fear blooms like a nig...
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