Lost in Thailand, waiting for my angel to return

Thinking about coming to Thailand? Thinking about teaching in Thailand? My time in Thailand has had its highs and lows, The days and nights are long without you, but my life would have been worse not having met you, even though there is a constant pain of depression in my chest that will not go away until i can hold you in my arms again.

I know this feeling of depression symptoms can vary for some but they can also be extremely frightening, I've been here before, it's just like when my mother left, maybe my heart is always meant to be broken because every time I give it away, I do something to ruin it all, and it gets broken again, so I'm just sitting here again, all alone, wondering why I keep trying, why I keep sharing my heart, sharing my life, keep crying, and giving everything I have. I know I can be a fool sometimes and lie about my feelings and try to not acknowledge them, or just brush them off as nothing. But now it's come to a point in my life that if I don't change I will never be happy, and I don't want to lose the one person that has tried to help me.

I need to start thinking about the future and being a better person and husband. It's difficult when you have a lot of free time though, I need to be like a shark and keep moving. I do know that when I'm suffering from clinical depression, I go into my world, and neglect those around me. This is not fair to anyone who stays near me, and I need to be stronger and better than this in the future.

Living in Thailand can be extremely isolating as a foreigner because outside of major cities, language can be a huge barrier. Also, many underestimate the heat, my god the heat in the hot season can be overbearing. Thailand can be heaven or hell for those wishing to teach in Thailand. The country is generally very beautiful, except for Bangkok, and the people are generally friendly and kind, except for Bangkok.

One of the reasons is ironic because there are a lot of bad foreigners running around not caring about the people or their customs. If you are thinking of travelling to Thailand, it would be good to do a short-term trip first for a few days, as it can be expensive and a major drain if you make a major decision to come for a year but leave within a week or so.

I just feel like cring all the time, sometimes is ok, but i cant be doing it all the time. Nothing feels right as you are far away you make everything better. Miss you, my gorgeous wife