Thursday, November 09, 2023

My rock in the world, the one that keeps me alive.

I'll admit our road hasn't been easy, and mostly my fault, though the deepest cut was made by her. I can't blame her as a lot was my fault, but I never thought she would do such a thing to me. She's always been pretty near perfect helping me with everything in my life, and making it 1000% times better. She's not perfect, nor am I, and I'm willing to forgive a one-time digression, but I'm not sure how many others I could suffer through.
The worst part after the event is my mind and it travels faster than any transport in the country. If I could just learn to turn it off or stop as thoughts come up, it would be great so I dont think about it happening so much. But after everything is said and done, I'm willing to give her a chance, because I've never had such a connection with another person before in my life. She is the most important person in my life, and though sometimes I may neglect or fail to meet her needs, it has never once been for the lack of love or care I feel for her, just my own foolishness and ego getting in the way.
I'm willing to suffer through this universe just to be with her, even though we must both be separated at this moment to find work and start saving some money to have our family. There hasn't been a single moment since meeting here that I have even considered leaving her, or doing anything to her that might hurt her.
Not saying I'm an angel, there have been difficult situations in my life outside of our relationship that have affected my behaviour and she took it personally. That's my fault, I need to be more caring and respectful of her feelings and needs, even if I don't understand them.
Sometimes I know it can even be difficult to understand what you want or need at a particular second in your life. But it may have been because I took her words and translated them into how I was feeling, and then projected my feelings onto her, letting her down. Since I have been made aware of this in the previous weeks, I can promise that it won't happen again.
Love is never easy, long-term relationships aren't easy, however, it is easy to find short-term fun or happiness with other people, which can make us do hurtfull things. It's certainly not a road I ever plan on going down.
It's a love that is beyond words, language, race, culture and money, it's simply based on the fact that every time I see her face my heart fills with joy, and there's no other place in the world I would rather be than by her side, just the thought of losing her drives me mentally insane.
This I know to be true, and it can be easy to fall for puppy love, or that new relationship, or some new activity, but both people in a relationship need to be aware and careful of their feelings and their partners feelings. I can't blame her 100%, I'm also at fault and must change my ways so that I never lose the one person that I have truly loved in my life.
I promise that I will do all I can to make her happy with whatever I have to give, especially food, and my time, I think the two most important things to any real woman. She has become the reason I need to improve myself and to do better in the future, listen to her more, and try to understand how she feels not from how I think or feel, but how she is actually feeling.
Sometimes when we get hurt by the one we love our first reaction can be to try and hurt them back. This is detrimental to any relationship, and relationships shouldn't be about who wins, or who is smarter, but being sincere, listening to others' needs and wants, and trying to understand their feelings from their perspective and not our own.
It takes a lot of awareness to do this because often our egos are very quick to think and act. So for any relationship to last for a long time, it shouldnt be about winning, it should be about sharing and caring for what each thinks and feels.
There is no reason to beat you if I just end up losing you, then I have just won the battle but lost the war. Everything I do from now on will be to make sure you are happy and your needs are being met.
No relationship will survive if both people are always competing and trying to show who is the boss, or who is bigger, or who is smarter, these games may be fun early on but soon enough people will get hurt and the relationship will become bitter.
I've truly found the one person I want to be with forever, and no matter what happens, I will always love you, even when im being an idiot, or selfish, or just not listening. I will always eventually come back to love and try to change or do better in the future.
I want to be sure that when I leave this universe your face, your smile, and your eyes will be the last thing I see because if I can achieve this major feat, I know I will not have wasted my life, and my life had real purpose and that is to make you happy and I will know then that I have succeded in being the best person I could be for you.
#love #couplegoals #couple #happycouple #instalove #coupleselfie #foreverlove #together #adorable #coupleshoot #relationshipgoals #romance #relationship #cutecouple #couplelife #coupletime #romantic #lovers #lovestory #couplephotography #photography #love #art #fashion #music #instagood #photooftheday #reels #travel #model #explore #wedding #explorepage #instagram #makeup #summer #beauty #nature #artist #style

No comments:

In the Garden of Solitude

 T he stillness where shadows whisper,   I wander the garden of my solitude,   Amongst the withered petals of hope,   Fear blooms like a nig...