Wednesday, February 16, 2005

YOUR EGO IS TO BLAME

, it’s a shame there are so many schiesters in Bangers especially Khao San rd, it does ruin the image but I guess its part of the experience and I feel i’m getting close and am on the right track, this is all I know for sure, all I want to do is to be left alone in silence this is when I am happy, Andreaz said that the monks were running away and the more spiritual people were living in the world this is also possible for those who have gone beyond would seem so ordinary and not be noticed by the ego because the ego will be unable to get anything from them so why would it bother i’m not to sure exactly what i’m close to but it also doesn’t mean I’ll get there soon, or this lifetime, but I know i’m closer than I’ve ever been before, if I knew what the next stage was it would help or if I has a teacher or someone to talk to, this would be of great benefit, but I also know that a teacher can not exist without a student, and v/v so they go together, when you begin to watch the mind, you realise how fearful and fragile it is, and how long a process it will take for one to become in control of it, its amazing the culture that has been built up from mindlessness, particularly where I am where there are girls and bars everywhere and inturn, people getting totally heedless and spending a lot of time and money in the process is this just running away from there inner self, if they spent as much time of the inside we would be a lot more free maybe many of them are and that’s why there hear to relax.



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